I hate having the second child

[Lalinka279]

So I nearly 40 years old with 8 years old and I decided to have another child…I mean why and how I forgot about all the horrible stages of babies development I don’t know. My other one was born premature 2 months, I spent one month in hospital…one week he was ok now a nightmare!!! Sleeps
only on me, screams, when getting changed, when having a bath, in a car seat, when laid down….screams….i can’t do anything in house. Cause I’m carrying him…I don’t go out, weather is miserable and cold and also he would scream…I loved my life before! I did my exercises, had sleep etc. now I hate everything! I also dreading when I’m bk at work cause I cannot imagine going bk full time and him being full time in nursery, also the cost of it probably better if I stay home. I wish I could turn back time and never had the second child!!!

Sounds like it might be reflux then op. You really just have to keep them upright as much as possible. It's grwat you've bought a carrier, use that rather than the pram.

There's lots of guidance on feeding them at an angle with the head elevated. Also holding them up for at least 20 mins after feeds. It's brutal though because you can't sleep whilst you're doing that

Have you thought about a cows milk allergy? I wrongly thought mine couldn't haveyhis as no rash, but you don't need a rash! Poor thing just had tummy ache for months. He's a different baby now x

I have changed his milk to antireflux and he is better now ! We v been on the free prescribed shit and it was absolutely ridiculous! His poo slimy green!

Fingers crossed for you

You sound exactly like me when I had my first , I couldn’t go anywhere In The car she screamed till she passed out I think now she probably had very bad reflux as the shape of the baby seat makes it worse I actually brought her to a very well known and sough after baby chiropractor and it turned out she had a birth injury also and was very uncomfortable you could visible see her head wasn’t right she had 3 sessions and came home and slept for hours from the relief, she would also only sleep on me , I did sleep well with Hannah’s sleep course when she was 5 months old it’s amazing and very gentle no crying it out you stay with them, now I will admit I never finished it as I got her to a stage I was personally happy with which was not sleeping on me 24/7. It doesn’t seem like it now but I promise it does get easier .

What is Hannah’s plan, please ?

How did u manage to teach your baby to sleep in bed?

If it's reflux or silent reflux then likely they will need omeprazole. The drs may start the baby on too low a dose so if it doesn't work at first then ask about a higher dose, as there's a range.

Trying to look after a reflux baby is horrendous. Be kind to yourself and the baby and get medication. It will save your sanity.

We just kept trying I guess, and tried to build up the amount of time he’d lie flat. It was very messy though and we both had to pitch in as he only slept in our arms for a long time, would mostly wake quickly whenever we transferred him. No better if co sleeping either, for us. I do think part of it is just a bit of time, their digestive systems are immature.
You’ve done the worst bit.

Night weaning helped, I can’t remember exact dates but around 9 months, but he was mainly breastfed so you could possibly try that a bit earlier, especially if you do a (dream?) feed before you go to bed and then an early morning one. Ours was always a good eater at least so was quickly eating a decent amount of food after 6 months. For a while DH would sit with him for a few hours in the night with water on hand and to comfort him while I slept and I’d take over around 4.

Don’t be disheartened by us though, love him to bits but he really was the worst of the worst sleep wise 😬

It sounds like you're exhausted and regretting "resetting the clock." It's okay, it's not uncommon. I have three (9, 6, and 22 months) and every time I have another one/hit the reset button, I regret it, but it passes. They get older and more independent and things get easier.

If you're really struggling, see if someone can come help or babysit for a while so you can get some rest and quiet. If not, maybe see how early daycare can take them. I put my third into daycare at four months and it made life so much better for both of us. She had caring, devoted teachers to dote on her and I was able to have a nap and do some laundry once and a while so by the time I picked her up, I felt much better about things.

Also, remember to talk to you doctor about things. Sometimes we have post partum issues, sometimes we need extra vitamins, iron, etc., after having a baby, and if one of those things is making you feel bad, treating it will take some of the edge off.

My child screamed at the time. Took her to an osteopath with excellent results. Best of luck

Hi there
having a pre term baby is so different to a full term, they are so immature and their bodies are only catching up.
did you get information from bliss ? Try the bliss website for some info and try the board here for parents of pre term babies. You are probably traumatised a bit yourself from the NICU, miraclemoon on Instagram is a wonderful preterm mom wirh a background in psychology and her posts are helpful, have a Look and see if it s helpful for you.

it might be worth seeing if you can bring your baby back to the neonatal unit or clinic attached to the unit you were in to get a once over with the paediatrician who has experience in preterm babies.
it s a bit wild all the diagnosis and suggestions you have been given here - before seeing any osteo or anything please get a once over with a neonatal expert. the unit should have PT OT and SLT and feeding specialists attached to it and hopefully if needs you can link with them