Behaviour changes after 2nd hospital admission

[shan1995x]

Hi everyone, I don’t even know if I’m looking for advice or just for someone to tell me we are doing okay to be honest.

Last week my little girl (3 in November) unfortunately had her second hospital admission of the year. The first being in October for walking pneumonia. This one was for RSV with the added sprinkle of pneumonia too. Bless her heart, she was on an oxygen machine 24 hours a day and this time with an IV drip too. She went through a lot in her little body and mind, something which I really hoped she wouldn’t go through again after the first time. The first stay was 5 nights and 6 days, this time 3 nights and 4 days.

But ever since we’ve got home she’s been super emotional, along with the added changes and lack of routine around the Christmas period I think there’s just a lot going on in her head. I’m giving her a lot of grace bless her, as I feel you should on someone so little going through why is a scary experience. Anyway, her behaviour isn’t great, very emotional, doesn’t want to eat anything - every meal time is a total challenge, she wasn’t the greatest eater before but now I fear she could just go all day without eating unless it’s snacks or sugary treats. I just worry she’s building up some bad habits that I don’t know how to stop in a time period where she’s feeling quite sensitive.

like I said, I’m giving her time to just come back around and feel okay and somewhat level headed again. But I feel so awfully guilty about the whole thing, am I doing the wrong things? How can I feed her better if she’s refusing to eat? Is she just being a normal defiant 3 year old or is she affected by the hospital stay? I’ve just personally got so much on my mind around it and maybe I’m worrying too much and she’s fine but just feeling some way and she will come around in a few weeks when the hospital stay becomes a distant memory again like the last one did.

i don’t even know if I’m making sense I think I’ve just got a lot in my mind that I need to get out.

So putting the hospital element aside, she's been really sick only last week. While a lot better, she probably still feels like shit. I had flu five weeks ago and I'm only just starting to feel normal and eating normal food. I think a lot of her eating and emotional behaviour is actually her still being ill and getting over an illness. I'd offer food, but if she doesn't want it I wouldn't stress. She may need a nap even if she doesn't have one usually to get her through the day.

My youngest had three hospital admissions close together for breathing problems at about the same age. She was definitely shaken, clingy, waking at night, etc. I think it's a tricky age for it – old enough to be aware of a lot, but too young to understand very much, let alone have the self-control to really manage 'this is uncomfortable but it will make you feel better in a little bit'.

Something that helped us was kitting out her doctor's kit at home with bits like she had had in hospital. We actually brought home some of the single-use bits from her second admission, but I'd been planning to improvise a pulse-ox, a nebuliser/oxygen mask, etc. She designated one particular teddy as the patient, and for a while he had a full set of treatment and obs morning and night. He and his kit had to come to nursery with her every day, etc. And then gradually it faded away (although a year later, my children still play 'hospitals', not 'doctors').

Don’t overthink it. She’s feeling rubbish. Of course, she’s going to be emotional and tired and not wanting to eat. This is completely normal for a toddler after a period of illness. I found it could last 2-3 weeks after the illness itself is gone. That’s not even taking into account the disruption of a hospital stay and Christmas. You aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s just how they are.