Routine with pre-schooler and newborn

[wishIwasonholiday10]

We have a 3 year old at nursery 4 days a week and a 1 month old baby and need to start getting into a proper routine with DH back at work next week. He does normal 9-5 with some flexibility on hours so could do nursery run if need be.

I thought I would be in a better place by now but am struggling with the newborn (feeding problems/sleep/digestive issues/poor weight gain etc) and not feeling on top of things yet.

What is reasonable to expect from my husband in the mornings and evenings and what has worked for you with a similar age gap? Please be kind as I’m not feeling like a super mum at the moment.

So I would say he gets your three year old up and gives them breakfast. You get the baby up and fed and get dressed. Then it may well work well for you to take your 3yo to nursery as it could be a good nap opportunity. After work it's reasonable that your husband needs half an hour to decompress, get changed, have a cup of tea, especially if he's been working from home. But then the household chores and child stuff is split 50/50. Once 3yo has gone to bed then he has the baby while you have a shower.

I would expect 50/50 mornings and evenings when he’s not working. Generally, in the morning, we each took one. If I was feeding baby, Dh was getting older one ready, dressed, fed and then out the door. For the first month or so, Dh did the morning school run. That gave me time to get caught up on sleep and sort baby and not have to rush out in the middle of a feed.

I did afternoon school run and then handed both dc to Dh when he walked in the door. I then cooked dinner and sorted things around the house. In the very early days, I would have sometimes had a nap. Then we had dinner, Dh usually had baby through dinner and we switched off as needed, then he did bathtime for both of them and then we each did one bedtime. Then Dh would tidy the kitchen and we’d all go to bed.

Oh I remember those days and of course 10 years on I can look back with Rose tinted glasses lol.
It was fairly fraught! My dc1 was in 3h monti 3 days a week but didn't start till 11.30 which jn one way took all pressure off wjth getting up and out and got me till nearly 3pm by the time we'd get home. Terrible but I'd wish away parts of the day. Great your dh can maybe do the nursery run, that will give you a real chance to rest and take it easy wjth newborn if you can. Just do the bate minimum is my advice, have whatever treats you need, get in daily fresh air. I found post birth vitamins helped. Morning time routine definitely divided and conquer. 3yo will need mummy time too so just do what you can and get your feet up at any opportunity 💐 These are special days but they're full on.

And remember it is suuuuch early days.