Bedroom / stepchild dilemma

[Skyplatypus]

Please help! We have a 3 bedroom house and my stepchild who is 10 has the second biggest room (after us), our 2 y/o daughter since came along and has the smallest room… now she is getting older and has acquired a ridiculous amount of toys which I assume will only keep growing, I proposed to my other half that the children swop rooms. Also as daughter is here on permanent basis and stepchild stays 2 nights a week, then about 50-50 in school holidays… my partner is petrified of having this discussion with stepchild as worries they will no longer want to come and stay or see him… I proposed we decorate it exactly how they want and update it all eg gaming station, high bed, they chose colour etc…. But he now keeps avoiding the subject as is too scared to discuss!! Am I unreasonable for thinking this would be the most fair option moving forward? Looking for any reassurance and also any advice or tips from anyone who has been in a similar situation on how they broached it please! Xx

Do you really want a 2 year old up in their room where you can’t see them playing? You’ll never know what they’re at!!

I wouldn’t do that until your child is at least 5 or 6.

If she has too many toys give the ones she’s grown out of away. Or put some in the loft and rotate them every few months so she doesn’t get bored. A child doesn’t need piles of toys, they will only get overwhelmed.

I don't think a 2YO needs a big bedroom. My 4YO is still in her cotbed converted into a bed, with a wardrobe with drawers inside and a barbie dreamhouse. Everything else is downstairs in Kallaxes.

Don't do it OP. DSD needs to feel welcome and as important as her half sibling. Sort out storage for the little ones toys or reduce the quantity.

Whilst in essence I agree that the child that is permanently resident should have the bigger room, I think given your dd is 2 and realistically wont be playing independently in their room for another 3-4 years, now is not the time.

The acquisition of toys and toddler crap is not the fault of your dss and he should not say the price for it.

Sorry.

Your child needs to be supervised whilst playing and will quickly outgrow the bigger toys.

She’s too young for a bigger bedroom. She’s too young to realise or appreciate the concept of a bigger room. Toys can be kept elsewhere or given away. Don’t piss her big brother off.

A two year old doesn't need many toys.
Honestly, kids just get overwhelmed.

However, I think swapping rooms in the long term makes sense when one child stays over 2 nights a week and the other stays permanently.

You say smallest, is it a box room? Or a standard single room? A single should be big enough. No? Other ideas: if partner won't face the question. Propose you and him move to the smallest room and the little girl gets the biggest room. Not wholly serious but gauge his thoughts.
Also, see a mortgage adviser in case you have capacity to raise money and get a bigger 4 bedroom house. Trading down a little bit on neighbourhood to go up on surface area might be a solution?

If both were your children wouldn’t be having this discussion. Use that as your starting point.

Whilst understand the principle I think age two it’s wrong to move the SS.

Discreetly, you could use some storage in their room, but that’s about it.

This is a a bad idea OP and 100% a way to make your stepchild feel unwanted.

downsize the toys or put some away in the shed/loft/garage etc. I think the best you can do is store some toys in the SC room when not there or put some discreet storage in there that doesn’t interfere with SCs space.

Agree with all the pp and 2yo shouldn’t be playing independently out of sight. If both were your dc would you make older child move?

Bad idea. Your DSS is 10. In six years your DD will be 8 and need a bigger room, your DSS is unlike to care so much and/or be more interested in being with his friends. Maybe even less than that. He needs to feel welcome with you, especially at this tween age with so much change going on, readying himself for secondary school etc. Your two year old knows no different. Your DH is right to be cautious.

A 2 year old doesn't need the larger room. If she has too many toys, donate them. No child, especially a 2 year old, needs a ridiculous amount of toys.

The older child needs the bigger room. They will need it for revising for exams in a few years and for having friends over. Neither of mine have ever really played with toys in their rooms. Toys are for common areas under supervision generally. If too many toys, time for a clear out to the charity shop.