HELP! Is my daughter being abused by her dad?

[mamabear062022]

My 3 year old daughter told me her dad tickles her private area. She asked me to do it and she was very distressed. She repeatedly said she likes it. I have a short video of what she said.
I have recently moved out of our marital house. We have been separated for more than 2 years but we were still living under the same roof for a while.

i have always been suspicious of his behaviour. When our daughter was a lot younger, I would notice him get an erection after he changes her nappy. He’d always rush to the toilet immediately after changing her nappy. At the time I believed I was seeing things and to be honest up to this date I’m not sure what to believe. What I know is that I have become very distant and my instincts will always tell me he’s abusing her. I have no evidence.

I don’t know what to do. My daughter loves him so much. He looks after her when I’m working. Sometimes he has her 3 nights a week. She adores him and always asking for him. As soon as he drops her off to my house he’s always asking about her. Sending text messages through out the day, wanting update.

My daughter changed the story this morning after I told her no one should tickle her there .. it’s private! She said it was her friends and then said it was her dad. I stopped asking her questions as this will distress her further.

I want to protect my daughter but then I don’t want to destroy someone. What if am wrong?!!

I have no family here. It’s just me. I work 12 hour shifts.. I have no support.

Go to the police

NSPCC helpline for advice. Record everything. Police

You need to go to the police.

Please don't leave it as this is potentially a serious safeguarding issue.

Police

And I wouldn’t be sending her there until some resolution to this

If my child’s father has an erection when he changed a nappy, I would have probably stabbed him then and there. I certainly would not have carried on allowing him anywhere near the child!

Call social services and ask for advice.

Hang on- he would get erections after changing her nappy and this wasn’t a red flag that he should be challenged?! D

This sounds dodgy af

Don't ask her anymore questions about it, or about her dad.

Call the police, you can use the non emergency number, and tell them exactly what she has said, and everything you know.

Get advice. Let the professionals make the decision. They are experts.

Police immediately

i have always been suspicious of his behaviour.
you waited far too long already. You have no choice here.

It's nothing YOU have done, don't feel guilty, don't feel bad, police.
You are doing your job as a mother, don't take on the guilt for something you are the victim of.

You need to tell the police and in the mean time do not under any circumstances leave them alone together.
A man getting an erection after changing a nappy is not normal and it made me feel sick to read.
stop questioning your daughter but write down what she has already told you, keep the recording and please call the police.

Definitely ring NSPCC helpline, now, fir advice.

In the meantime try not to ask her any more questions. It's important to be very careful when asking any questions to ensure they are open and not leading in any way in terms of evidence.

Big hugs. You must be beside yourself. When is your daughter next due to go to her father's? Are you able to take some time off from work just now so she can stay with you while you speak to whomever you need to to ensure she's safe?

This is surely fake

Call the police. NOW!!!

Morning, OP. We hope you don't mind but we've moved your thread over to Parenting where we think you'll get responses that are more carefully targeted. AIBU didn't seem the place for a thread like this.

Thank you everyone. He’s been arrested by police. He denies anything. He was released on bail…

Well done for calling the police, your daughter was for very brave for telling you.