My DC has just turned 7, does have an Audhd diagnosis and has done since he turned 3 for ASD and last month for ADHD.
Flourishing at school, scoring top end in everything and reads books for year 4 children. Constantly shouts out in class but does really well and I could burst with pride at how academic and social he is at school. Constantly has amazing facts and retains information so well that he can recite some lessons nearly word for word!
But at home..
EVERYTHING is a problem. Screams full pelt for minor things, I’m panicking constantly that the neighbours must think he is being hurt!
Speaks to me and DH like absolute rubbish. Fully tells us ‘No.’ to things like getting dressed, picking up his items, brushing his teeth, will keep refusing and will just shout and scream. Constantly trying to pick fights with us over small things and then becoming aggressive. Is very purposely being deliberately defiant as though seeing what it takes to get us to raise our voice at him.
Does the ‘Kevin and Perry’ (if you know what I mean) noise to absolutely everything!!
Shows visitors very little acknowledgment and we’ve of course had family here this week with Christmas etc and he just gives one word answers unless it’s a topic he’s interested in, and then he completely bulldozes the conversation by shouting excitedly and talking over everyone.
Continuously contradicts everything we say and has started narrating / muttering things very loudly which can be quite insulting and I’m at a loss as to where he has heard these things?! He will be sat there silent as though not listening / uninterested but then will shout at the top of his lungs to inform us ‘NO it didn’t!’ ‘THAT IS WRONG!!’
Ive tried absolutely everything I can think of (SEN TA for 8 years) but nothing works - he causes such a scene in public if we say no to something and it really gives off a ‘spoilt brat’ vibe. Or will suddenly become bored and will attempt to leave the shop / restaurant we are in and I’ve had to abandon full trolleys etc!
I love my son more than anything!! He is amazing and quirky, he has always had his fixations which leads to crisis / meltdowns but I’d say this particular deliberate bad attitude towards us all started since transitioning into year 2.
The paediatrician says it’s very common for this hormone surge and boundary testing at this age but I was just hoping for some clarity from Mums who have been there / done that and anything that worked well that I might not have tried!
In terms of consequences all we can really do is take away electronics (which he only has one hour on a day anyway and even that causes chaos when it’s time to come off) or toys or time away from his bedtime but all this does is just throws petrol on the fire and has no effect as the next day is the same.
DH and I every single evening have deep chats with him before bed about managing our feelings etc and every night it’s like we have broken through - but then the next morning it starts again the minute I say he has to get dressed / ready for the day.
Any ideas / experience with strong willed 7YOs?! I am absolutely fried 😩🤣