Anyone else finding Christmas with a baby really hard?

[Hessington]

DD1 is 2, DD2 is 5 months. Suddenly stopped sleeping as soon as we arrived at the grandparents, not in the day not overnight. Very out of character. It would stress me out anyway but finding it so hard dealing with this with family all around throwing in their two cents, not having any sympathy. Exhausted and spending so much of the day / evening trying to get the little one sleeping . Anyone in the same boat? Trying to tell myself that next Christmas will be easier

News flash - next Xmas will only be easier if you stay home and say that either people come to you or you see them a different day without a sleepover. Just get through this one, and then don't go again. It's too much disruption with little kids.

That's difficult. Just lower your own bar. Try and politely tell everyone to shut up and maybe hold the baby/play with the toddler for you and just get through. Forget schedules etc if they're not working for you. Try get some caffeine, some fresh air and whatever food you feel like.
It's 13 years since I felt like you do but I remember it!!!

We went through this every time we stayed elsewhere when the kids were littler. Not just at Christmas either. Any different place meant a different routine, more people, more excitement. Lights are different, smells are different. Unsettles them greatly. Plus at 5 months there was never any guarantee the sleeping pattern they had yesterday would be the same as the one today.

You have all the sympathy from me. Hopefully she'll sleep tonight and tomorrow.

I am. I have a 7 week old and I’d definitely forgotten how much bloody STUFF you have to cart around with a new baby! DH’s family are also chronically late to everything which is infuriating when you’ve planned timings and don’t want an overtired baby.

This is normal OP - mine were much worse at sleeping when not at home. As other posters say, it's easier if people can travel to you if possible. Good luck OP, it's really hard when you're so tired. Can you go and have a nap?

People think we’re brave/mad when I tell them we host everyone to ours for Christmas, despite having young children. But after a couple of hideous years of taking the show on the road, we said ‘never again’ and have stuck to it.

Would strongly advise staying at home when they’re little.

Going to the Grandparents is exciting, especially if the Grandparents are likely to make a fuss and spoil your two year old. For both of them it’s a case of different surroundings and being out of routine and what they know. When we had DC I decided that from now on Christmas would be at our house, people can come or not come, it’s up to them. In your own house you can stick to your routine much easier and DC are in their normal surroundings. Most importantly there is no need to pack and take loads of stuff anywhere.

Thanks for all the replies. It’s so reassuring to hear that it’s a struggle for others, we’re the only ones with kids in the family and very few friends with kids so I really didn’t realise it’s normal to find it hard, has made me feel a lot better. I think I was feeling like I was failing by not being able to be fully present. We’ll head home on 27th, earlier than planned, so just have to go with the flow the next few days and not worry too much about the baby getting bad sleep

I have flown to my parents abroad with my 4-year-old and 10-month-old. It’s raining, and my daughters are hysterical stuck at home. All I can think about is how much easier it would be if we were all at home sticking to our routine.

DS’s first Christmas was an absolute nightmare. Right up until the 23rd he was having really long daytime naps. Family arrived on the 24th and he just stopped. By Christmas Day he was over tired and over stimulated and basically screamed the entire day.

Strategic mistake to travel to your parents. Of course baby was never going to sleep in a new environment. You are blessed if the 2 year old is fine.

Next Christmas will be shit too unless you stay home.

Babies and toddlers love routine. Some might say they have a chill baby that sleeps anytime/anywhere but I have not met one in real life yet.

Normal! Stay at home in future it's a lot easier

People talk about how ‘magical’ Christmas is with children and it is - when they’re old enough to understand it. The first 2-3 Christmases are the tax you pay on the joy that is to come.

Yep. Will never forget it and mine are 31 and 27 now. From DS's 3rd birthday we had Christmas at home - until Covid struck. Family were welcome to stay with us, the DC kept their own beds. And yes, he was born on Christmas Day!

Is the little one's temp ok? I always think ears when a baby is very restless and can't sleep.

I think this will be us tomorrow! Glad to hear we’re not the only ones, awful as it sounded for you. Did he go back to napping okay after? I worry a week of sleep all over the place will be hard to recover from

thanks everyone else for you replies, I really do feel a lot better. DD1 is totally chilled and still sleeping as normal, same with her previous two Christmas’s so I didn’t expect this to happen with DD2 but sounds like it’s very common

Yeah, baby will start napping again normally after a few out of sync days. As soon as you get back they'll probably have a huge nap and then gradually get back into a normal routine.

You're very much not alone. Just vow to never leave the house at Xmas again (unless it's to the beach/park/woods which is pretty much essential if you want to keep your sanity as they get a little bit older and you have to peel them off the ceiling when their excitement is sky high 😂).

Yeah, he went back to napping as normal once things settled down. I saw it referred to as ‘Christmas Colic’ on TikTok the other day, so I think it’s fairly common!

Christmas with two young children is difficult and even more difficult when spending it with family. Spend Christmas at home and let everyone visit when it suits you.

Slightly different for us because we stayed home, but with a 2 year old (turned 2 on Christmas Day in fact) and a 4 month old.
Ive hated most of it, toddler been overwhelmed, mess is horrendous, the expectation to create joy that no one really appreciates.
Im glad it’s mostly over now 😂

I could have written this post myself! 2 year old and 6 month old here.
we spent Christmas morning at home and then went to grandparents mid morning. I spent the morning rushing around trying to get the car packed and everyone dressed.
toddler refused to nap, we spent hours getting her down at bedtime and then she woke up at 4am. Baby didn’t like the travel cot so was up every hour through the night.
I was beyond exhausted!!! Luckily we could come home on Boxing Day.

I am lobbying my husband for us to stay at home next year and not go to his family as we had planned. We had to stay there for a week last Christmas and it was awful. We spent most days randomly driving around trying to let DD have a nap somewhere quiet.

Mine have additional needs so we stay at home with usual routine for them otherwise they are a nightmare. We have our Christmas Day ourselves. Visit family before or after Christmas Day instead. We don't host as I would find it too stressful with all the stuff we have going on each day with our youngest DC.

Yes first couple of Christmases with DD were really tough! So far second child has been easier but also we’ve stopped sleeping over at the grandparents which helps I think

My DC1 was a horror with sleep staying anywhere other than home, until age 3-4. We always went away for Christmas: it was exhausting!

DC2 was a lot easier.

Other people’s unsolicited comments and advice are annoying: brush them off in your mind, if you can.

Yes - we had this with our two year old who would not sleep in our hotel and was just so overstimulated and excited by Christmas and being in her aunty’s house - it was too much and we went home early too. I was so unwell by the end of it. We’ve said we are staying home next year. It’s a lot for little ones especially babies. Sending solidarity :)

As soon as we had kids we said no more travelling at Christmas. It really isn’t worth the hassle. Lugging presents and travel cots and everything you need isn’t worth it. The kids want to play with their toys and not be told off my ‘making a mess’ with said toys. They need to be in their own environment (my DS more so as he is autistic). I have hot wheels track all around the dining room and Lego in the lounge as long as it’s pushed against the wall at night/when we need to eat I don’t care until the weekend before they go back to school. They are having fun.