reins.... are they terrible and why didnt i know this?

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Ive been using reins for my dd who is 2yrs 4 months for about 6 months now. She was out of her buggy before xmas and she does well with her walking. But being a stroppy toddler does not really want to hold my hand. I tried her with a wrist strap and we did not get on with it at all. So i brough her some reins. She calls them her pink lead! but shes very happy with them. I hadnt really thought anything about it until i was inthe libary yesterday. The libraian (spelling??) said to me that you dont offen see children on reins anymore but she think it is much safer and saves the mums chasing after the children. The lady standing behind me piped up saying she thought they were very old fashioned.
So is it completley terrible to use them?? and what do i do instead as she really will not hold my hand the whole time we are out.

thanks

I recently found a two year old girl who had been lost in a busy street. Reins would have prevented that, as I know how quick two year olds can be.

i tried the hand holding but my dd is very determined and as soon you as you say 'hold hands ready for the road now' she is off towards the road ands when i do manage to catch her and grab her hand i am vicioulsy attacked with scratches, digging nails, kicks, bites..... obv she is punished for this, usually by being taken straight home if we are going somewhere she wants to go.

reins are good compromise. she doesnt seem to mind them although she prefers to be able to run ahead a little so as i said a couple of days is enough to teach her how to walk properly.

if they work for you keep using them. its your child no one elses. its your choice, you know how to keep them safe better than anyone else.

Like you I didn't realise the prejudice abour reins until I started to use them! DD1 was wilful and would not listen and very erratic in behaviour (and v speedy). V independent and would lie down in the gutter if I insisted on holding her hand, so reins actually gave her more independence as she could walk 'freely' without me screeching at her ever 2 seconds. It was one less battle at a time when I had a newborn and a zillion other battles. I only needed them for a few months and whilst I could start to teach her road safety around 2.5, there was no way she would have comprehended any of it at age 2.

Carry on using them and ignore any comments. Better a safe child than a squashed one.

You can teach road saftey and use reins. You can also deal with a baby in a buggy safely while your other child is on reins.

I used one of those back pack things that have a strap attached to the rucksac with DD2 a handful of times. Proved really, really helpful. She also walked really early (9 months) and I can imagine that had I used them earlier on her she might have fallen over a bit less! Don't use them now.

At the end of the day they can save lives, help a parent who has hands full with other child. Only good can come of them in that respect.

The only terrible thing about them is not using them becasue some idiot says 'they are for dogs not children'!

However I knew of a mum whose son went to DD1's nursery and she used them on him down the long and traffic free lane leading to the nursery, only releasing him at the door. I felt that was a bit ott, but thought she might have a v good reason why she wanted them for him and didn't think past that really.

We have to make this call soonish as 9 mo ds has just taken his first wobbly little steps (I had to share this - sorry but just so proud

I thought backpack reins seemed like quite a nice idea - funky and still gives a degree of independence which my ds (and I suspect any dc) would love. It came up at work in conversation and I said I thought they were a good idea and got shot down in flames by an uberdaddy! He informed me that you teach them to walk holding hands but knowing the personality of my ds I can just fast forward to a few months time and it just wouldn't work - he'd wriggle, squirm and be off like a flash.

BTW, I hate seeing older toddlers strapped into pushchairs who are quite capable of walking. Which is worse?

ignore him and get the reins, wasabi.

Oh believe me I will. I just surprised by how much uberdaddy got shirty about the whole topic

I bought reins when DS first stood up and used them till he was 2.5 when he started objecting to them. Mind you I don't recall anyone actually making any snide comments.

I was advised ages ago that reins are safer than wrist straps as wrist straps can pull a child's arm out of hoint if they trip over, and DS when younger loved being swung up on his reins.

I've had people looking askance at DS' backpack, but I don't tend to invite too many snide comments....except for the pink-shirted smug tosser in the park.

my dd is almost the same age (2.3) and exactly like yours when it comes to holding hands. She's very willful and goes where she wants to go (generally in the direction of oncoming traffic or sheer drops, or yesterday an open air swimming pool).

So we use reins and are proud to do so. Sod what people think, it's not their child who's gonna end up under a bus, is it?

all kids are different. some need reins, some just need to be told what to do and will do it.

i think they are old-fashioned, though, aren't they? what the modern parent does is not let their child out of the buggy and then whinge on parenting websites about the fact that their toddler won't sleep.

we have a backpack, absolutely great. although the lead was pickpocketed while we were on holiday and i've yet to receive a reply to my 'wtf do i do now' email to the backpack company.

what's nice about the backpack imo is that you can just loop the lead over your arm and hold hands etc, so it is just an extra piece of security, whereas with reins i always felt like i did have dd tethered.

aith without wanting to sound contentious so I shall whisper this for your ears only have you thought about using a pet lead as a temporary replacement I'm sure you could get one that is just plain tape IYSWIM

What Kewcumber said Aitch, if it is the Little Life backpack the pet leads with the clips are exactly the same.

hehe I don't even feel the need to whisper!

i have thought of it, and we are in fact using a wrist strap thing at the moment. glad to get some use out of it, tbh, as dd HATED it on her actual wrist but loves her ladybird bag.

i am hopeful that if the co ever gets back to me they will inform me that replacement leads are free of charge...

we don't have any pets, though, so i'd be buying a lead that i'd not need in future.

I was talking to a friend of mine about reins just recently - she reckons her dd has been spared a fair few head injuries due to the use of reins, catching her at the last second before head meets pavement!

Ds is 10 months atm and I will definitely be using them with him.

If you're both happy, then sod what these tut-tutters think! Some people have nothing better to do than make unwelcome comments

im glad to see that most people agree, i shall keep using them.. do like the backpack idea as well, might get one of those for day trips out.
What i had been doing also was unclipping one side of the reins and clipping it onto my belthooks, so it was a bit handsfree.. like when you are paying in a shop or something. Worked quite well until she literally started running in cricles round me.
I am quite shocked how judgemental people can be about such a small thing. especially when you mention about how much better it is for the child ie walking and getting exercise, learning about roads, how to behave in shops etc... much better than seeing them stapped in a buggy when they are perfectally capable.

We live on a very busy road, and although dd1 (2.2) does hold my hand, she still wears a little life backpack with reins, as I always have a buggy (dd2 is 1)it can be a bit of a nightmare if she runs off. I get lots of comments about reins, all of them positive, mostly from the older generation.

BTW Aitch, we lost our reins bit too, and are waiting to hear back from the company-in the meantime I use a canvas lead I bought from the pet shop

Whoops took ages to type my post as both dd's had a screaming competition, so didn't realise that the pet lead thing had already been suggested - sorry!

its not just people who use reins who get it in the neck you know LOL i have had comments too...about NOT using them! My eldest walked at 10 months on her own, and by 12 months i used to take her with me on the 5 min walk for me (20 for her lol) up to the corner shop. The amount of people who said how awful it was that firstly she was walking and not in a buggy, and secondly how terrible it was that she wasnt on reins. I never used reins with either of my two, or held their hands except crosssing roads, there was never any need to.

If i had had the sort of toddler that liked to jump out onto roads then i most certainly would have used them

I work in a shop that sells baby items and there has been an increase in the purchase of reins by parents/ carers. Usually accompanied with the comment "little sod needs them, I've lsot him 5 times today" or something similar

We used reins, I was blissfully unaware that people hated them They were fab, ds was wobbly on his feet but wanted to walk EVERYWHERE so reins helped me balance him a bit without him realising. If he tripped over my hand would shoot up in the air, leaving him dangling so no bumped knees, scraped foreheads or tears. Great. Would use them again!

i've always used reins wth my dc.
ds could bolt quicker than any horse in the stables i worked in before having him! i used them on him til he was about 3.5 constantly. he did have very bad excema on his hand and it hurt him to hold hands so we did the usual stop and look for before crossing, but it made him cry if i held his hand, so reins added extra security. the last time he wore them he was 5. was walking him home form school and took them off the younger child i had with me and put them on him as he ran across a quiet road straight at a v. busy road after several warnings to calm down and stop blah blah blah. it worked i only had to say reins to him and he stopped after that!
dd also has reins- i have one of the little life backpacks for her. she's a different kettle of fish to her brother and does walk nicely next to me the majority of the time, but for peice of mind she wears them if we are by a road, in quiter places like through the park i dont make her wear them

i've never had a negative comment about them. usually little old ladies saying "oh its good to see someone with sense" or some such comment. with dd's backpack ahd lots of ahhhhh comments

i think that children are safer on reins, no toddler has enough sense not to run into a road ime

i tried using reins for ds2 when i first had dd2(he was 2.5 then)but it was like trying to puch a buggy while trying to control a cheetah on a lead,so i used the double buggy untill he was old enough to learn some road sense.

what i dont undersatnd is all these people complaining about toddlers who are able to walk being in pushchairs.i let dd2(now 2.6) walk whenever its appropriate,but i always have her in the pushchair in the town centre or supermarkets.i would rather know where she is when im distracted.