I home Educate but he works

[littlelongstockings]

I home educate our 5 year old ASD child and my husband works full time running his own business.

I am extremely grateful that I am able to be a SAHM and home educate our child. I did work before we decided home education would be the best option.

I do everything in the house and I mean everything, I feel like I am constantly tidying, cooking, cleaning. I also teach our child, take them to classes and groups and make sure our dogs are walked daily. I organise all appointments for child and dogs and everything else that comes with caring for small beings.

Although I am exhausted I feel it is my job to do all this as my husband works full time outside the house and he is very busy. My husband does nothing else apart from work (very hard and very successfully)

Is this how it should be done?

Oh I should add that when he is home he is great with DC, plays and is happy to get involved with care for them, bath etc.

Do you get an equal amount of free time?

Can you afford to outsource anything - dog walker or cleaner?

We home ed, DP works four long days and I do most of the household stuff but he probably does more tidying. I take the kids to activities but he helps a bit with minding one or two kids while I take one to something

I don’t think there’s a way it “should be” exactly but ideally your both pulling your weight for the family, that might not be exactly equal but one of you should t be running yourself into the ground while the other is cruising IMO

I think that sounds ok tbh. This is what I did during covid times when I was out of work for over a year. Husband was working full on and I did everything and I mean everything. Gave me a purpose.

I’m in an identical situation but 8 years down the line. We got a cleaner this saved my sanity and stopped me feeling guilty about not being with my son when I needed to do the cleaning. I also took every Saturday morning and went for a coffee and breakfast alone. Usually leaving the house about 8.30 back by 11. This was so important and gave me the mental break I needed. I made the decision that we would not be doing weekend activities. Fortunately we’re not a sports family so that was easy to impliment. Every six months or so I took a night away. DH was contracting self employed rather than own business self employed but taking time off was still tricky. But yes I did everything and still do everything. It has got considerably easier as DS has got older. But I figured whilst HE might not have been a choice I was bloody lucky to be in the position to do it so I figure running our lives should fall to me. But if your DH truly appreciates what you are doing he needs to recognise that he can step up by giving you Saturday am to keep your sanity.

When you’re both home, it should be 50/50 with you both getting free time for yourself in the evening or on the weekend. Obviously, when it’s just you home, yes, it’s just you, but I wouldn’t be expecting to get loads of cleaning and cooking and jobs done during the day when you should be focused on home educating.

Isn't that the point though, he does get involved when he's at home? Sorry, I'm confused, you do all this stuff because you're at home, hence he can't, but when he comes home he's hands on?

So long as both partners have the same amount of free time and the same amount of spending money, it's fair.

Well you have it a little easier try with 4 under fives and 4 under 14 plus doing everything house and pet wise while hubby works ft...does the exact same tho soon as he gets in dives into whatever needs doing at that moment and I have no complaints love it tbh 😊