Childcare for older sibling during childbirth

[LaVitesse2022]

We're expecting our second and starting to make plans for what childcare to arrange during childbirth for older child. All our family are abroad and we don't have any close friends nearby. Our child goes to nursery 3X week and we're considering extending that to 4 for a few months to give us a bit more coverage just before new baby arrives and rest just after. But obviously that doesn't cover nights or weekends. We have one trusted babysitter who we'll be contacting but would like to have potentially 1 or 2 more on call just in case one of them can't make it.

I'm curious what people have done in terms of planning in similar circumstances?

Thanks so much for your replies everyone, this has given me lots of food for thought. I honestly had no idea so many women gave birth alone for second or subsequent children, but I can see why that makes sense. Although I would be sad for my husband to miss the birth of one of his children, I know that will of course be our last resort.

A home birth is not an option. I had an EMCS first time and am very much inclined to go for an ELCS, in which case this might not be a problem because I could get my mum to fly over. But there's always the worry that the baby might come earlier anyway (my first was born at 38 weeks) so good to have a back up plan.

I take on board what people said about not-so-close-friends being willing to do it. I have a couple of people I could potentially rely on who live not very far away.

Thank you all again, this has been very helpful

Dh looked after the older ones why I had the younger ones.
Dh has never been at any of my births the first one I had so fast nobody made it to see the birth.
Same with the 2nd really fast birth nobody made it to see the birth.
3rd my sister come with me because I was being induced which never happened I went into labour after an examination and she nearly missed the birth going to get food.
4th a friend come with me to be induced and stayed for the birth

Remember you won't be able to drive yourself to hospital if you're in labour.

I had a very fast labour first time round. I had my mum on standby but she lived 40 minutes away and we are rural. When I went into labour with DC2 I knew there wasn't time to wait for my mum ( or probably an ambulance) so I called my neighbour. I didn't know her well but she was heavily pregnant with her first and was happy to pop over and sit with DS1 who was asleep in bed until my mum arrived.
DS2 was born very soon after I got to hospital, just over two hours in labour.

In the end I had my mum available but I had mums I had only been friends with for 6 months offer to help with my 5 year old.

I was in and out of hospital between 34 and 37 weeks and couldn't be left alone with my daughter, thankfully some of this was whilst my in-laws were visiting but we also had some of the mum's help with that one friend had her for a while day having offered to have her for an hour or so. My partner was only able to visit me once whilst I was in for two admissions and I had to get my parents to take him home post discharge as I wasn't discharged until 11pm and it we didn't want to get anyone out. I would have taken a taxi or got a friend to pick me up otherwise. I got so many offers for help.

I was induced in the end, my mum watched her. My partner returned for bedtime and once she was a asleep he came back to the hospital. I gave birth the next day at lunch time my mum took her to school and we arranged for a school mum to pick her up and keep her until tea time. I delivered earlier than expected and my partner was able to get her from school and did evening and bedtime that night. My mum slept over that night as a back up but went home after that as she wasn't needed. I was in hospital for a couple of days and my partner was with me from 9.30 to 2.30 and then went to look after our daughter. If we hadn't had my mum overnight I would have been ok with him staying until school and then coming back hoping that he got back in time.

We let the school know what was going on and added various people to the approved pick up lists.

My older child was at nursery for the day I gave birth I stayed in hospital as she was in NICU for a few days and my DH took care of our toddler, dropping him at nursery in the morning then collecting on the way home (it was all day). I knew I was having her in the day though (section). I guess we would have asked a friend with same age kids to have son overnight if it came to that.

Ask the nursery workers if they'd mind being on standby for some (paid) babysitting?

I asked a teacher at DS’s nursery to be on standby (I paid her). Friends might be open to doing it.

Please could you share where/how you found a trainee doula? This sounds exactly what I’m looking for tbh, an on-call doula who’s happy to look after the toddler!