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Original poster

Should he be paying maintenance or not if he doesn’t see DS?

9 replies

NeedingASafeSpace · 21/12/2025 07:55

I have stopped contact with DS dad as he is highly abusive and a safeguarding issue. He pays me £57.50 each week for DS. I pay his nursery fees of around £600 months so this goes towards that. I do wonder should he be paying if he doesn’t see him? Or am I being soft…

OP posts:
Icecreamisthebest · 21/12/2025 07:56

yes he should. It’s the least your DS deserves.

GooseyGandalf · 21/12/2025 07:57

It’s not a pay per view arrangement. A child isn’t sky sports.

He should pay because he created another human being, and he has parental responsibilities to ensure that child’s needs are met.

Orangepate · 21/12/2025 07:58

A kid isn’t an activity you pay for like a club, he’s not paying to see him he’s paying to support him.

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Original poster
NeedingASafeSpace · 21/12/2025 08:01

GooseyGandalf · 21/12/2025 07:57

It’s not a pay per view arrangement. A child isn’t sky sports.

He should pay because he created another human being, and he has parental responsibilities to ensure that child’s needs are met.

Yes, this is true.
I suppose I am just struggling to establish how this all works.
I’ve currently cut contact and told him to go to court if he wishes to see DS. He won’t because he knows the only contact he would get for a while would probably be supervised (this was his words when I told him to go to court due to DV towards me and in front of him and therefore is a safeguarding concern).

OP posts:
SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 21/12/2025 08:03

Go via cms get what your child ie entitled to

SleafordSods · 21/12/2025 08:46

Are you getting any support through one of the DV charities. Sounds as though you’ve been through a lot.

Yes to your question though. Go through CMS and dont think twice about it.

Original poster
NeedingASafeSpace · 21/12/2025 08:54

SleafordSods · 21/12/2025 08:46

Are you getting any support through one of the DV charities. Sounds as though you’ve been through a lot.

Yes to your question though. Go through CMS and dont think twice about it.

Thank you.
he is self employed as so will likely declare less as that’s him all over.
I don’t have support from DV charities because they don’t really offer much (not that I have been aware of anyway). I have recently been wanting to get into social work to help others in my situation but I wouldn’t know where to start

OP posts:
mindutopia · 22/12/2025 08:14

The child he brought into the world has to eat and have a roof over his head even if his dad is a twat and isn’t safe to be in his life. Missing out on having a loving engaged dad is already a disadvantage to him in life (you can’t change the fact his dad is a dipshit), so of course, in this circumstance, he deserves at the very least the financial support that a decent dad should want to provide.

Blueuggboots · 22/12/2025 08:30

Of course he should. Contact and maintenance are two separate issues.

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