Heavily pregnant with toddler… how do you cope?

[Ritual9]

I’m 38 weeks pregnant with DC2, I’m struggling so much physically and wondered how other people have coped? DS1 is 20 months, he’s still quite clingy and wants to be picked up a lot and climb on me. He goes to nursery 3 days per week but since I’ve started mat leave DH has taken it upon himself to work late meaning I’ve been doing the pickups and drop offs plus dinner bath and bed routine.

Last night DH was out at his works Christmas party so I did dinner, bath, bed and the lifting and sheer chasing DS around to get clothes on, nappy on, etc set off loads of braxton hicks that meant I couldn’t sleep. I’ve had DS alone today, we went to soft play to tire him out but he refused to nap (usually he has 2-3 hours) and again I’ve ended up doing all his evening routine as he needed an earlier bedtime and now I feel quite unwell - sore, nauseous and exhausted.

How do other people cope? I want to be cherishing these last days with him before his brother arrives but I’m literally dreading the weekend and Christmas break!

I also have bad pgp which is made significantly worse by lifting, I had always thought I would be super active in pregnancy but in both have had to really cut down physical activity past 20 weeks because of pelvic pain.

May as well have been an immaculate conception for us! It was very much a surprise (we were using contraception). It has been so rough 🥴

Can he go in a bit later on nursery days so that he can do the drop off and you can get a sleep in? I have 4 children and I definitely remember the end of pregnancy being the most exhausting, for me i was a lot more tired pregnant than I was with a newborn. It's a busy end of year time and I think the party as a one off is fine but it's tricky for you that he's choosing to work late. I definitely just took it easy and did easier dinners and cuddled up with books and things. You're nearly there I know it's really hard!

Been there. Done that. Mine are 1 and 3 coming up 2 and 4

First 6 months were hard but doable... I took any and all help and "gave myself grace" and just got through it knowing i just had to run the clock. It got easier again at 12m and 18m....It's cool now...

Couple of things

• teach DS / start singing the "i can do it by myself" song and get him doing things himself.
• stop picking him up. Hold his hand or whatever but please protect your body
• Feed less messy food and / spoon feed. Potato / fish / sausages are all cool and not tomato sauce
• Tactical deployment of cbeebies is your friend
• I started teaching my dd to respect my body when pregnant. she was 21m when ds was born and knew to be kind to mummy's tummy. She had verrrrry little vocab but good understanding and would gently pat my tummy and rub my face 🤗
• if you can afford / might he okay with a night nanny get one. Our was £160 per night and WORTH IT.
• Keep him in nursery if you can. Keeps his routine and gives you 1:1 time...

I remember cutting corners - like not giving my toddler a bath every night, giving her favourite foods so mealtimes went smoothly. And I admit to letting her watch more tv so I could get jobs done. We had a lot of roasted chicken and jacket potatoes because I could throw it in the oven and forget it. And my dear mum used to help me by minding her so I could go to the supermarket alone. It's hard, really hard.

Have 3 age 5 and under. No village , husband is great but has his own business and works away mon to Fri. Had 3 awful pregnancies excruciating pgp, fell and sprained my knee 2 weeks PP, 3 emergency sections had to get on and drive after 2 weeks to get shit done , ebf then all.

in short - I just got on with it

20 month age gap. Had one of these https://learningtowers.co.uk/collections/shop-learning-towers/products/the-original-convertible-learning-tower (still used lots) so DC1 could climb up to my level easily. Took the tray off high chair so DC1 could climb straight in and out without lifting. Floor bed helped too though understand why you wouldn’t change a good sleep routine now! Lowered my standards. Robot hoover.

Could I please ask where you sourced the night nanny from and how you interviewed/what things you looked out for? I would love one but also feel a bit nervous about having someone around while we sleep.

Also...I know it sounds cruel but stop playing with the toddler (unless you really want to) getting them in to the habit of playing alone will save you and it's so good for them developmentally!

Yes! We are north london have a lot of jewish friends who just gave us big lists of people. Apparently its very popular in the community...

We met a few and had one we super liked.
If you are anywhere north london / West london / herts and want a recommendation DM me. Shes a registered childminder and just fab!

I would stop pressuring yourself by telling yourself you need to be "cherishing these last days". I mean this kindly, its exhausting and near unbearable being heavily pregnant with a toddler. My age gap was similar to yours.

I coped by getting out the house with mine as much as possible as I found they were focused on the world around them rather than on me and it felt like a break. I had help from my husband in the mornings and evenings but they weren't at nursery so his help was the only relief I got. i don't know if there is a way to cope really you just have to survive. You are so close, but I understand it is so hard. And I agree that it's much easier having a toddler and a newborn than being pregnant with a toddler!