To find this mind numbing …..

[Minnierose11]

I want to start by saying, my DD was very wanted, planned for and very loved, I adore her.

Shes 1, recently. And I am still on mat leave, return back to work part time (3days) in February.

But I’ve found the whole experience so far of motherhood, mind numbing. I have moments of pure joy, milestones, firsts etc. But otherwise, I just find the whole experience of it very very mundane and boring..
Shes walking now, has been since 11 months, albeit still abit clumsy. Shes not talking bar mama and dada.

Does it get better?
I feel abit ashamed saying this. Like I’m complaining about something I wanted and tried for, but it hasn’t been the experience I think I was expecting.

I felt the same so went back to work full time at 9 months, I need the other adult interaction and not just being 'mum' all day everyday.

It does get better

I found the baby stage boring but it's been getting better and better since then. I love having teens!

Snap. I'm 6 months post partum and my experience is identical. So bored, sometimes I feel...stupid? Like he's stripped away my grey matter.

Also watched every episode of Downton, and The Gilded age.

Baby groups are so tedious. I just don't really find other people's babies very interesting.

I'm going back to work in the new year and I cannot wait. I think both I and my little boy will fly.

I think you will feel better when you get back to work. I took 40 weeks off and it was plenty, I had had enough after 6 months. You will feel more balance with your job to stimulate you, and then the time with your child is more precious when it's not endless 😂. Maybe reconsider only going back 3 days?

Mine are 18m between. Oooh that was fun, think changing an 18m old's nappy, popping him on his feet to toddle off and then doing the same to a newborn and wondering why they didn't do the walking thing!

Suddenly, they're 18 and...GONE! Mone are 25 and 26. Both left home at 18. I've not seen or heard from my youngest since March 2020, no idea where he lives even.

Treasure every moment if you can. And scream and howl and sob and throw things around (not your DC!). It will all pass so ridiculously fast.

I found they got more interesting once they could talk. If she’s just saying Mumma/Dadda have you tried teaching her some signing? You might be surprised at much she understands.

I found that doing a voluntary role alongside helped keep my brain active. Bringing up babies can be mind numbing though.

Intellectual stimulation - This is your chance to learn and develop yourself by learning about how she's developing.

I think many parents forget their child is constantly changing - and can get left behind.

Resenting toddler tantrums because they haven't moved on to understanding how the child's brain and personality is developing.

Treating their adolescent like a child because they're not acknowledging the hormonal changes happening in front of them.

Start now and learn all you can about the neurological, physical and hormonal leaps your child is making - and how to shift and evolve and change yourself in the process to deal with and anticipate those changes.

Social stimulation - Re the naps and nappies conversations you find so mind numbing - there'll be plenty of other women who feel exactly the same way! So start a group. Have topics of conversation. Invite people to do provocations - things to stimulate the talking. I belong to and run several groups and they are incredibly rewarding. Made so many friends.

I did too in the early days so went back to work at four and five months each time. Nursery fees took the equivalent of my salary for over two years. Over twenty years on, never a single regret.
From three years upwards btw it was great, I just wasn’t prepared to sit at home and count the months by.

Just to say that I respect your decision but it is important to say that for the sake of new mothers on here for whom this will sound very bleak, not everyone regards child rearing as "sitting at home and counting the months by."
There is an alternative view that sees parenthood as a joy and a privilege; a chance to watch and nurture the development of a precious new human being.
By all means choose to go to work ... that is fine ... but to imply that it is no more than sitting around and wishing time away is only one view ... and seems really rather sad in my view.

High maintenance pot plant 🤣🤣
Yeah i find babies incredibly hard work yet boring at the same time. It's not the stage I enjoy, they do get much more fun from about 2/3

I know it's doesn't seem like much, but the bond you are creating with your daughter is giving her sense of the world and hopefully that she is safe in it with you. I know kids don't generally "remember" anything specific before the age of around 3, but they do retain a strong sense of the feelings and sensations from that period, which has a huge impact on their future personality and view of people and the world. So don't feel like it's all very boring and you're doing nothing OP, it's important work that is having a direct impact on you DD's future happiness.
It is generally agreed that 0-5 is the most critical time in a child's life for setting up their standard responses to most things they will be dealing with in life.

The bond from these early months has measurable brain changes and should not be underestimated.

That must be so incredibly hard. Do they have contact with any of your family?

I think there is a thread running in the “Parents of Adult Children” section for MNers who have DC who are NC

The counting the months go by was simply because I felt unfulfilled. And despite some good times, quite bored even very often. For those that find it more fulfilling in the very early years of course it’s different, I didn’t imply it was the same for everyone. Just giving my experience which interestingly correlates with several other posters who also ‘couldn’t wait to get back to work’.
For me, what would have been sadder would have been my spiralling mental health negatively impacting my childrearing and the subsequent memories of their childhood.

I am sorry to hear you felt unfulfilled. That is very sad.
I am not saying that this is how you think, but there does sometimes seem to be a hint of the idea that the hard won rights for women to have choice and a career have downgraded the value (and indeed joy) of being a parent in the eyes of many. "Just" being a mum becomes a secondary choice.

I do think there are joys to be found in nurturing our young, in shaping the next generation. And I think these joys can be sought and found if they do not come easily. Those with professional careers have kudos and obvious value with positive feedback. The task of child-rearing may not have these obvious rewards on the surface, but a conscious reframing of the task can lead to real joy and satisfaction and positive immediate and long term rewards for both parent and child.
I can honestly say that bringing up my babies was a delight ... hard work of course and sometimes repetitive ... but a fascinating project. And I was lucky enough to be able to take time out and be able to return to my profession.