Four month old sleeps through but parties all evening

[Rooftop85]

Does anyone have any advice? Our DS is 4 months old. We also have a nearly 4yo DD. DS sleeps through from around 10.30/11pm until 8.30am ish save for the odd night where he will wake at 4am or 5am for a feed, but this is becoming less common. However, he is wide awake and very shouty (in a happy way) from around 5.30pm until 10.30pm. It’s lovely but also means we don’t get any down time from getting up with our DD at 7am and him going down at 10.30pm. I tried once to put him down at 9pm when he was about 3 months old but he then woke at 1am, 3am and 6am. Should I just accept the lack of an evening on the basis he is pretty much sleeping through consistently or is there a way to get both an evening and a nights sleep? My DD was always an amazing sleeper and slept through 12 hours from very early on. Thanks in advance!

Circadian rhythm isn't set yet. Normal. Give it to 6 months or so.

Gosh I would've been ecstatic with a four month old sleeping that long! 9 hours downtime before dd gets up?! Wow!!! I wouldn't mess with that - a happy baby in the evening sounds fab -you will need to wait a bit longer for an earlier bedtime!

I should also add that, on average, babies will sleep longer once they have doubled their birth weight and that sleeping through the night is considered to be be just 5 hours. ☺️

You could try gently rotating his schedule, wake him up 15 minutes earlier, move naps a similar amount, then bedtime 15 minutes earlier, rinse and repeat to try and get him going down earlier and waking earlier so the children are more aligned.

I had two poor sleepers, though, so in reality, I'd have done nothing for fear of breaking the spell!

Does he have a daytime routine? If so, you could try waking him up earlier, doing everything an hour earlier through the day and then putting him to bed at 9:30pm, as if the clocks had changed. If that works, leave it a few weeks and wake him up earlier and put him down earlier again.

Although, if he's just happily kicking away on his mat/in a bouncer during those hours then surely you can still eat/watch TV/chill out. I know it's not as relaxing as if he were asleep, but a happy four month old isn't really a lot of work. They're just...there.

I’m up every 1 - 2 hours with our 4 month old at the moment in the midst of the 4 month sleep regression so honestly, I’d just enjoy it while you can and hope it lasts!

No way on earth I would risk upsetting his sleep. You're very lucky to be able to get a very solid chunk of sleep in and if you try to change things you could end up in a far worse situation.

Also, the advantage of him sleeping later that your eldest is that you get some quality time with her before he wakes up.

Jesus Christ that's fucking amazing. You got TWO fantastic sleepers, thank your lucky stars and play the lottery.

Thank you. No he doesn’t have a routine in the day. We just go with the flow. Not least because having a routine is tricky with my DD being around. Trouble is in the evening he shouts so loud (happily) we can’t hear ourselves or the tv 😂. And he is only happy if he is held, won’t be put down. His naps in the day are very short too- 20 minutes or so. I will try getting him up earlier and putting him down earlier by gradual increments and see if that works as you’ve all helpfully said. He did 10.30 through to 7.30 last night so it’s so tempting not to mess with it, but I also can’t get anything done in daylight hours as he is up and wants to be held. Thank you

My ds didn't sleep for more than 3 hours at a time until he was about 18 months old AND he was awfully colicky from 3-6m so our evenings were utterly soul destroying. I'd have sold body parts for 10 hours downtime (or 8.5 with your dd up at 7)

You'll get your evenings back op - if it's either/or take the sleeping through every time!

I think you need to adjust your expectations of being a parent tbh , I would think 98% of new parents would love your situation 😂

Thank you so much all. Really appreciate you taking the time to respond

DS did this. It was wonderful.

Then he stopped. And woke us up to four times a night until he was six.

Do not complain. Just enjoy. It may not last.

You are very lucky with your first and second child’s sleep. What did you think it was going to be like?!

My second slept fairly well (not as good as either of yours) until about 4-5 months and since then has woken very frequently. Enjoy the good times whilst you can.

@Rooftop85 Both my DDs went to bed late but slept through. From around 3 months. Yes, you have a playful baby until late but you get rest for a decent time during the night. Most people like the uninterrupted night! Mine weren’t noisy though. Just happy to have some entertainment. Not sure what you can do about his happy noise! However gratefully accept his sleep pattern. My DDs continued to sleep through.

Yep 😂

I can see why this is annoying...I used to hold my 4 month old all evening because I thought he wouldn't settle in his cot. When I started putting him down our evenings were so much easier! Could actually make dinner etc. We also have a toddler.

Having said that, Mr Early to Bed does wake every 2-3 hours...

the average night length at this age is about 10h which he is doing - it’s just shifted late! The bedtime is really linked to morning wake time, as this shapes their circadian rhythm. If you want an earlier bed you can gradually wake him earlier in the morning. Assuming 10h night, 6:30am would get you around 8:30 bed (roughly! I appreciate he isn’t a robot! 😂)

DS2 did this, he's been a fantastic sleeper since about 8 weeks old. Loved an evening party time so we just used to watch TV with the subtitles on. I'd rather have no downtime in the evening than be up half the night with a screaming baby (ask me how I know 😭)

Downside: he stopped napping the day after he turned 2.

@Lululemonade11 What’s the point of early to bed if everyone is awake all night? Late to bed and late up always made sense to me and no waking up in between.