Feel like a terrible mother

[MagicOrange1]

I'm starting to feel like the world's worst parent.

My baby is 4 months old and I used to be the only one he would sleep on, the only person to get him to smile, the only person he would want to cuddle, the only person he wanted to come to but lately that has all changed.

I can't settle him and even when I do it's for all of 5 minutes, he cries an awful lot when I have him and it's really affected me and made me incredible emotional to the point I give him to my husband all the time because he seems to be able to settle him ect which makes me feel awful.

I feel like I am a part time parent because I pass him off because I just know I can't do anything right and it's the easier option.

I'm really starting to feel worthless and not needed anymore and just like im a rubbish parent.

It's not you and you're not a rubbish parent. Babies are well known for this. Just when you think you've got them sussed, they completely change and you have to learn about them all over again so you might as well just accept it, don't take it personally and have a little time for yourself while dad takes the reins for a bit.

Hi x

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. It's a phase, honestly. Try to look on the bright side of this, at the moment he is bonding with his Dad (many babies only want Mom which I know you had initially). Trust me, you will be glad he will be settled by his Dad when you need a block of sleep or an evening out.

Hormones will be affecting your emotions around this don't forget.

If you are breastfeeding he could be crying for more food?

Hi Op,

This is normal, don’t worry - it doesn't make you a bad mother! Putting the baby to sleep is only a tiny fraction of their day, you can spend the next hours playing and enjoying your child.

Someone mentioned breastfeeding, and if you are feeding still. It would make perfect sense if this was the case. With my children I was the ‘food source’ and the sleep comfort, and so they would not accept me putting them to sleep without breastfeeding. They would cry and cry and refuse to sleep. My husband would be able to put them to sleep easier because he wouldn’t need to spend half an hour feeding (sometimes dealing with colic after feeds) and they would just accept the situation.

If you are not breastfeeding then, as someone said, babies can be changeable and one day they like you and then the next day they like Daddy putting them to sleep. I also found it difficult when they cried, and the sound alone would make me react a certain way (like nails on a chalkboard), I think it is biological so that we wake up when babies cry and (for me) physically I can’t ignore it.

Anyway, good luck OP. Lack of sleep and hormones for the first year (for me) is always a killer, so be kind to yourself.