A potty training one...any advice

[SoloMumJustMuddlingThrough]

DD is 21 months and I'm struggling with potty training. She understands the concept - poo and wee goes in the potty.
Whenever I go to the toilet she is my own little hype girl "well done mummy, you did a pee pee in the toilet".
We went through a phase where I would put her on the potty and she would happily pee in it.
We did a sticker chart, and she was very proud. We read stories on the potty and it was all funa and games.
Then one day she did a poo on the potty but stood up half way and some poo got on her and it was the worst thing ever and after that she refused to even touch the potty. "No potty any more" She also held her poo for 10 days because she was terrified.
We toona break and went gently gently so that now she will sit on the potty, read a book but not do a wee.
She understands that she needs to do wees in the potty but I don't think understands the sensation of needing to go. For a couple of weeks I tried putting her in normal briefs when we were at home. I would take her to the potty at intervals - she never peed in the potty only in underwear and we had puddles on the floor (five before 9am 😭) BUT it clicked. She worked out she was going to pee. One time she ran as fast as she could to the potty whilst shouting "pee in the potty!!!" but a little too late and she slipped on her own pee and bumped her head on the table. She still talks about it 1 month later.

I think she is at the stage where cognitively she understands what the potty is for and what to do there but doesn't yet know reliably when she is going to pee. Also I think we need to move slowly so she gets confidence.

She tells me when she has done a poo. She sometimes tells me if she is weeing in her nappy. She makes her teddies use the toilet when playing.

Sorry for the tmi. Any advice appreciated 👍

Honestly, she’s still quite little, so I wouldn’t stress about this yet if she’s not quite ready. I found the Oh Crap potty training book really helpful. Both of mine were very bright little girl toddlers, but neither was ready until closer to 2.5 - and then at that point they cracked it in <48hrs using the above method.

I made my eldest walk around with no bottoms on her sister was born (26 months gap) with potty on standby.

Feeling of soiling herself was uncomfortable and she quickly learned in a few days to use potty.

However this was in the summer which was warmer and made my approach easier.

I found none of mine liked the potty and got on much better using the toilet like mummy and daddy.

we bought one of those double sized seats and steps with handles and did the look back.

mine you, confessions of a stressed mum 🥹. When my DD was almost there, she was running to the bathroom and the wee started to come, as luck would have it it was on the bathroom floor, but she was so upset. Me trying to work and getting close to the dead line, told her to stand still and mummy would be there in a minute. She stood there in wet paints in a puddle for maybe a couple of minutes, I felt so bad after, but she learnt not to leave it to the last minute in future. It’s not a method I would recommend, the guilt 20 years on is still to much .

I was told to take them every 20/30 mins and sit them on the potty to encourage the association. We had a downstairs toilet but kept a potty nearby too. Think we began around 27 months and by 2.5 she was fully potty trained. We also used a sticker chart for some positive re-enforcement.

Your DD might be a bit small for this but someone recommended a money bank and pennies, instead of stickers could work… or anything they can collect and keep in a jar. Let them decorate the jar with stickers etc.

Day 1 of new approach. Nothing on bottom. Home all day (apart from 2 hour walk during nap time. 10+ puddles on the floor, 2 wees in potty (when bribed with a nibble of shortbread!). We celebrated the win. My response to the puddles was simply "we goes in the potty not on the floor, let's clean up". I took her to the potty before and after each activity so ever 20-30 mins. It was quite intense.
I feel like it's going to be a loooooong slog. I also ordered some training pants for when we are out . I'll update our progress in this thread for anyone else going through the same and asking the same questions. 😊

Honestly OP, everything you have just said tells me she’s not quite ready. Try again in a few weeks/months, there’s no shame in laying off until she’s a little bigger.

Agree with this, mine were a little older but were completely out of nappies and accident free within 5 days and it wasn’t that stressful really.
This will also be a lot more pleasant when the weather is warmer

I don’t think she’s ready I would have a break (at least a month) and then try again ,

@SoloMumJustMuddlingThrough , my DD went through a similar phase of appearing to be ready to potty train in the summer. We had a great day of wees in the potty and then the next day none made it in. We took a pause, kept the potties accessible and read books etc but didn’t push it, and then last week she announced she didn’t want any nappies or knickers and managed five potty wees in one day, and one accident. A week on and we still have the odd accident if she isn’t quick enough, but otherwise she has nailed it. Give your little one a bit longer. DD is 34 months and so I was really losing hope but when she decided to go for it, it was so easy.

It doesn't need to be a slog. She's clearly bright as a button with very good communication. If you come back to it in a few months time she'll be dry in a couple of days with very few accidents.

My best advice with my eldest was just do it. Stop the nappies. I too was so stressed about the change. Didn’t have bed wetting either. Just try it x

Leave it ..completely for a few months. She's too little... physically ready and emotionally ready are not the same things.
Leave the potty around (bathtime is a good shout when she's naked for a few mins) but don't push it.
Leave it a month or so at least. Or til spring/summer when she will be older.

I've toilet trained four children and one grandchild so far, and honestly it's much less stressful if you wait til they are REALLY ready (I don't mean til they are 3 or 4 but over 2 is much more realistic and likely to be a lot quicker and easier)

Basically relax...

I decided to ditch the nappies (apart for night time and during her nap). We have had 7+ (I've actually lost count) of successful potty wees. 1 accident this morning. Yesterday she also did a poo in the potty. I went for a 10 run today with her in training pants and they were dry. We also managed the week shop with her dry. I started with chocolate buttons as bribes which worked but now she has stopped asking for them. I am still reminding her regularly to go but feel more confident that she will get there if we focus on it over the Christmas holidays.

We also trained quite young and you do tend to have more accidents than if you wait until they're older. Fortunately we don't have carpet so it wasn't a big deal for us. It's also typically a longer process at a younger age. Sounds like your little one is doing great.