How to help fussy eating?

[Nuggetsssss798]

DS is just turned 4 and having a right fussy phase

Past few months he outright refuses fruit and veg. He basically likes all food that isnt the best for you! He will eat bananas though

He is very active so activity is good

But he will have

Porridge for breakfast or a wheat cereal
Peanut butter
Bananas
Yogurts
Chicken instant noodles
Potatoes of any sort
Chicken dippers or fish fingers (he used to have meatballs now wont touch :()
Crisp like pom bears
Crackers

Please dont judge I try so hard but if he refuses to eat stuff he wont eat it i cant force him

Just asking for advice on how to help? He used to eat more fruit and some veg. Never liked bread or bread products (pastry aka sausage rolls etc) but now hes turning away normal meat? Would used to have chicken etc

Something to note is he is eating some stuff in pre school , so will have the chicken dinner minus veg, the chicken curry and rice , the meatballs pasta etc?

Any advice welcome I want to help him xx

That’s actually not bad at all. I know it’s a worry if they drop things from their diet but it’s good he’s eating at Preschool. Lots of fussy/ restricted eaters eat far fewer foods.
Maybe add some vitamin drops to drinks whilst he’s not really having much, if any, fruit and veg.
Try not to let him see that you are anxious as he will pick up on it. You are right you can’t make him eat.
There’s advice on food refusal/ fussy eating on The Infant and Toddler Forum. Look for the factsheets.

Our son aged one ate everything we put in front of him then turned two and suddenly started refusing even his former favourite meals. It’s taken years but now (at five) he’s far more adventurous and willing to try things. His favourite food is sushi which I’d have never believed would be possible even a year ago. He’s some flavour of ND (awaiting assessment) for full disclosure.

We went with the ‘This is your dinner. You choose if you eat it’ approach and made no fuss if he didn’t eat but big praise if he did. The ‘rules’ of that approach do say you’re not meant to discuss the food or offer bribes etc but we worked out that our son likes to show off and enjoys impressing us when we say something like ‘Oh I bet you can’t eat two spoonfuls of peas!’

We just cook whatever we want for dinner (obviously we make it something reasonable eg nothing too exotic or spicy) and serve it to him along with something he definitely will eat.

For example, tonight we had beef stroganoff which was served with pasta, mushrooms and garlic bread. He’ll eat the pasta and garlic bread then the beef in sauce if we use the above described tactic of ‘challenging’ him. We might get him to take a bite of mushrooms with the same technique but no drama if he doesn’t.

It’s taken years of patience and sometimes I’ve wanted to pull my hair out but it’s definitely worked and I’m in a much happier place about his eating now.

Best of luck with your son!

Thanks both! Some reassurance there. Im lucky he eats hes got a great appetite thats not the issue! Just wish he'd have more fruit and veg x

My DS was 4 in September and would also be thrilled to be served plates of beige and chips for every meal. You are not alone and definitely no judgement!

However, I am a SAHM while he’s at preschool so I have lots of time to make things from scratch (and edge him on the willpower most days). Things that have worked for me are:

• a fruit bowl with basic fruit (bananas, apples, oranges). If he demands snacks, you stand firm and tell him he can only have something from the fruit bowl.
• Feed him his main meal as soon as he gets home from preschool. Mine usually eat their main dinner at 3.30pm and then banana porridge or similar later on before bed.
• To do a “safe” food with every meal. You say he loves potatoes which is great so add mini roasties/wedges to every meal. It won’t harm him to just eat potatoes if he rejects the other food to begin with. Eventually, he will start to try the other stuff on the plate.
• If he likes breaded stuff, you could try making your own chicken dippers or even fish cakes (with grated carrot sneaked in) but I appreciate not everyone will have time for this.
• We tell DS that spiderman gets his powers from eating carrots and many other lies about his favourite characters needing vegetables to stay strong and cool (which is just as important apparently). DS also loves it if we pretend some of his toys are stealing the vegetables off his plate as they love them so much.
• Good old fashioned bribery has its place. We started with things like “if you try a carrot, you can have an icecream after” which is generally frowned upon on mumsnet but it worked for us as incentives to try new foods. DS now eats salmon, chicken thighs, mushroom/vegetable soup, carrots, peas and green beans willingly these days but they all originally started off with a bribe!

Good luck and try not to stress. You are a great parent for even posting this and his diet really not that bad (and definitely not unusual for his age group).

That looks like a good mix of things, believe me. My 3 year old wouldn't touch most of what is on that list. He eats far fewer things than that. I'd just keep putting some fruit or veg on the side and if he doesn't eat it don't let him see that it stresses you out. Sounds like it's a new thing so he'll hopefully go back to eating better soon. Mine has really bad sensory issues with food everywhere since he turned one so I know how much it stresses you out. Good luck 🤞