Hello please help I think she is scared of me

[Mumtab]

Hello my almost 4 is very lovely girl enjoy everything cant sit still except for the screen time i love her so much she always want me all day she will call only one name thats me we leave in a joint family where their are cousins of her age recently she have pushed her cousin by mistake and started crying and trying to beat her dad when i asked her why did you beat her dad she said me i am scared of you i never hit her aur even yell at her i use consequences of thing she will do and use firm voice i dont know why she said this i m crying for what she said and felling like im bad mother

My daughter said something similar when she was little about me shouting at her when I hadn’t raised my voice, I was just being firm. You have to remember that a four year old may not even really know what they are saying when they say things like this. They may be trying to express a very abstract concept like “I’m scared of disappointing you mummy” but they don’t have the words for that yet.
My daughter has eventually been diagnosed with autism and rejection sensitivity Dysphoria (which means she takes being told off very very badly). It is probably not the same situation for your daughter but it doesn’t hurt to research neurodiversity a little bit to see if she ticks some of the boxes. That will just give you strategies to keep her overstimulation to a minimum though. The main thing is to start being kinder to yourself, you are a good mum. The fact that you are posting for advice and reassurance here shows how caring you are as a mum. Try to remember that.

She pushed her cousin by mistake and then tried to beat up her dad because she's scared of you?

Or have I misunderstood?

When dd was a similar age she discovered woefully saying I didn't love her stopped me in my tracks when I was trying to correct her. The first few times I'd rush to reassure her how much I loved her and by the time I'd got over the guilt the incident was too far in the past to mention again. By the third time I'd cottoned on to what she'd learnt and so told her firmly she knew I loved her but her behaviour in this instance wasn't great. Your dd has discovered saying she's scared means you back off. You need to share what being scared actually feels like when you're not in that moment then challenge her gently when she tries to use it in future.