Difference of opinion

[Tiredboymuma]

My husband and I have a few difference of opinions with my 2.5 year old son.

Recently my husband and I both agreed he was getting too big for his car seat, so we decided to get a new one. I wanted a rear facing extended car seat for safety reasons but my mother in law picked up a high back booster seat and my husband said he will be fine in that. Bearing in mind there is only the seat belt keeping a 2.5 year old safety in place 😬

I said this isn’t safe enough for him and my husband got annoyed and said I’m worrying too much.

He’s also got a problem with me having the baby monitor on during the night. I said it’s helpful if he wakes and cries I can see if he will go back to sleep or if he’s sitting up I usually go to him to settle back down. Husband has the argument that his parents never had a monitor so it’s not needed. But he never gets up to him, it’s always me and having the monitor helps me see what’s going on without having to go into his room, potentially waking him up and being awake for hours during the night.

What would you do in this situation? He doesn’t seem to understand my worries, especially with car safety.

I think you're right about the car seat.
Can you show your husband some videos where young children get out of theirs? Two year olds are young for booster seats IMO.

Wrt the monitor - it's your choice, as you're the one who gets up!

That’s really bad with the car seat. Could you compromise with a rear facing seat until 4/18kg and the reassess?

monitor I’m with you but can also see his point. I have friends who don’t bother with a monitor for kids this age and while it’s not for me, I don’t judge them.

You’re right about the car seat and the monitor is your choice if you’re the one getting up all the time. He should be sharing that though- it shouldn’t all be on you.

I don’t like baby monitors but my child is within ear shot at night. I do like to be able to hear him. If you can’t hear him without the monitor then stick with the monitor if you want to.

Your husband sounds miserable, obstinate, and not on side. You should be a team with decision making but he just sounds like a cocky sod who wants things his way for no good reason and won’t listen to sense.

Do not use a high back booster for a 2.5 year old, it's completely inappropriate and children have died due to being in these seats at this age. He also needs to be at least 15kg and 100cm legally to use one, which it is unlikely he is, so you could have a legal side to back you up there. Have a look at the instruction manual of the seat or see if it has minimum measurements on the side.

Extended rear facing is safer but a forward facing seat would also be OK, it just needs to be one with a 5 point harness (as long as properly used and installed). A high back booster is not a safe option, not for at least another year preferably 18 months+.

Out of curiosity, what seat did he have before? If he was outgrowing it at 2.5 then I wonder if he is quite big for his age? In which case, you might be limited in what seats are available to buy, which might be why MIL has gone for the booster seat, but there are certainly extended rear facing seats for over 18kg/105cm and there are extended harness forward facing seats too such as Cozy n Safe Hudson (not the i-size one) - which is under £100 if budget is an issue - or Joie i-Irvana Max (only the "max" one) which can be used with the 5 point harness up to 25kg.

If your LO is not close to the 18kg/105cm limit of most stage 2 seats, then it could be he will have more time in his old seat and it just needs adjusting to his size - sometimes people don't realise but the headrest can often move up and move the straps with it to create more space safely in the seat.

Des your husband also have a problem with using a smart phone or the internet? These are also things his parents probably didn’t use. He sounds like a controlling nob, sorry love :(