Newborn days

[Mumtobe2025x3]

Hello,
I have a 4.5 week old little boy who I absolutely adore. We have bonded brilliantly so far and he loves his mama.

I am however struggling significantly with the change of everything which I knew I would, but not this much. I find I can’t multitask at all! I can literally just concentrate on one thing. My house is a tip and that’s getting me down and just general things like cleaning and washing I can’t do as I did before. My husband is here and he is brilliant, but he’s not a person bothered by mess and his tidying isn’t the same as mine. I can leave my son with my husband to get on with things no problem and I’m lucky I have that and time, but I find my mind is willing but I just don’t end up getting things I want done. I feel so lazy. I just feel I can’t concentrate on anything other than my son even when he is content!
I mean trying to get out the door before 1pm is just impossible I feel!
me and my husband are also sleeping until 11-12 each day which is not like me, pre-baby I was up at 7 most days or earlier when working, I’m not moaning as we have a good baby that wakes up 4-5 hourly for feeds and is quite happy to go back to sleep and snooze until 11ish after his morning feed at 7-8. I then find half the day has gone and I’ve just got no go in me to do anything which again is not like me at all!
I had a c-section so the start was hard, but I’m fully recovered now.
I am also a person that suffers with anxiety and my mental heath and I’m really open about that. I’ve reached out for support and I’ve got an appointment with the perinatal mental health team on Thursday. I suffered quite bad baby blues and cried pretty much every day up until 4 weeks.

i have no regrets or resentment to my son at all, I love him dearly and I would not change one thing or say I wish for my old life. I feel me and my husband are doing incredibly well, I am just struggling with change, no routine and just not being able to multitask.
i hate being indoors as I feel like in the same four walls, I go out often and this makes me feel 100 times better, but again it’s the challenge of getting out the door.

is this normal to feel like this? Will it get better? When can you establish a routine more?

This is completely normal for the newborn stage. He is your 24 hour a day job - you do not have the time or energy for anything else. Whether it feels like it or not, you ARE still recovering from the birth. Embrace it rather than wasting time feeling guilty.

It definitely gets better. I should have said. I started to feel more normal after about 6 weeks each time but it will be different for everyone.

It does settle down after all, people are able to drop off their kids at nursery/school at a fixed time every day. Once your son can sleep through the night, it will get a whole lot better. Sleep deprivation is after all a torture technique so be kind to yourself and each other until ds’ sleep settles. Obviously nobody knows when that will be but you’ll look back at this time and wonder how you coped.

If you have a second child then having to get the first to nursery or school forces a routine. Remember that the first 3 months are often called the fourth trimester and it’s totally normal for babies to be unsettled although it sounds great that he can manage 4-5 hour stretches.

Hang in there 💐

It sounds like you are doing a brilliant job and everything you’ve said sounds completely normal.
It’s sounds like you would like to get out of the house though. Set yourself the task the night before of preparing everything you need to go out. Pack the baby bag lay the babies and your clothes out to make it as easy as possible for the next day.
Its absolutely fine to stay in but you sound like you want to get out.
Go for a little walk and grab a coffee. If your baby is snoozy and content in the morning it sounds like the best time to take advantage of that.

Yeah having a baby is hard. You don't get it until you actually do it.

By about 6 or 7 weeks, I was quite good at getting out the door.

By 12 weeks, I had some kind of baby class or social every mid- morning, 5 days a week. Then I'd come home and flop for the afternoon. Some would think that's mad but i needed to be out for my sanity.

So things do improve. Patience. Accept your new reality. Caring for a baby is 24/7 and that doesn't change for a long time. My toddler has a cold and is teething so I was up 4 times last night!

Thank you! I also feel so guilty that I spent those first precious weeks crying and not soaking up my new born. I just feel like a lazy slob that can’t be bothered to do anything!
it’s nice to feel a bit more reassured this is normal x

Having a baby involves a lot of crying 😅 you've done something extremely hard, you're sleep deprived, recovering from major surgery, hormones are all over, you have this small himan to care for etc etc.

Give yourself some grace and chill out.

No one is full recovered from a c section at 4.5 weeks. It’s major surgery. It takes up to 2 years for body to return to normal vitamin and mineral store levels after a baby.

Sounds very very normal to me! This is exactly what having a newborn is like. The days roll into nights etc and before you know it another week has passed. I was the same with my first, second one not so much as had a toddler to care for too. Prioritise your sleep even if it means sleeping till 11, it's important.

I mean as in physically I feel absolutely fine as I did pre pregnancy

I mean as in physically I feel absolutely fine as I did pre pregnancy