Third Baby?

[Loll1991]

Can anyone please share their honest experiences with having three children, or of being one of three siblings growing up?

I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Recently I have been debating the idea of a third. My husband is thinking about it too, his main concern is the cost.

My main worries would be having a 3rd c-section, one of the others feeling left out/sibling dynamics and generally coping haha!

But my house is already chaos and I love my children and being a mum.

all thoughts welcome!

Having many children comes with the challenges you mentioned, but the pros far outweigh the cons. You have a supportive man beside you, your going to need that most of all. I wish you the best.

If you got family closeby to support is doable.

I grew up as one of 4.

Felt like chaos. Couldn’t do after school clubs, dad worked late and mum didn’t want to put all 4 kids in the car and drive about every evening.

Always noisy, could barely hear myself think. We’ve all grown up insecure people pleasers as we had to demonstrate X or Y behaviour to be noticed. We were all just ‘one of the kids’.

Problems are amplified. More people, more potential for there always to be some kind of issue with one of them, more people upset.

Wouldn’t recommend. 4 isn’t 3 though.

I grew up as 1 of 4 and I always thought it was a good number but in retrospect we never got much time with our parents and were always in competition for attention.

I have 3 and at first I thought it was great when my youngest was small and portable but if I’m honest life was very much simpler with 2 and sometimes when I’m out with just the older two I wonder what on earth I was thinking. There is always 1 left out and the little one is often not included in things or is destroying their games. All activites are more difficult as before it was one adult, one child whereas now one adult has to have 2 children. Fitting everyone into 1 car is difficult which isn’t a problem day to day as we’ve bought a big car that can accommodate 3 car seats but hire cars etc can be a problem. Pretty much no hotels will let you have 3 kids in a room with 2 adults.
As they’ve got older I’ve really struggled with keeping up with extracurriculars as it means 3 lots of swimming lessons (and in our case they’ve never been at the same days or times), juggling beavers/ brownies/ football etc so having to limit what each child can do and the kids having to hang about each night waiting on siblings who are in clubs.
Im also aware that we will potentially have 3 children to support at university etc in the future.
Maybe if you have good local support who would be willing to help with these things it would be easier though.

Had my third baby in May this year. She’s an angel!! She was a bit of an oops baby.
i had a 4 yo and 1 yo at the time of baby arriving. Now they are 5, 2 and 6 ish months. It’s amazing. I love it. Third babies somehow seem to be easier because they know they have to.
My elder two adore her and they all get on and have huge snuggles together almost daily. I suppose one day they might fight and squabble more but basically I couldn’t recommend having 3 enough. It’s amazing the love

have had 3 sections now. Probably going to stop. But no medics warned me of any extra issues other than normal scar rupture risks.

only mums I would say stop at 2 if anyone who’s found 2 really really really hard. They might find 3 very chaotic indeed. However anyone who’s had two and ridden the ups and downs and overall enjoys it, have a third!!

I was on the fence for years. Back and fourth, pedantically going over finances, logistics etc etc. We decided just to go for it, and I’m so grateful that we did. We are enjoying being a family of five immeasurably, so much so, we TTC no.4. It has changed us all in the most positive way. Breaking out of the ‘perfect, one boy, one girl, two children family’. 100/10 recommend!

If you can afford it go for it, but the way things are going… I would make sure I had a large amount left over each month + savings before considering a third. Not to mention a four bed house & a big enough car.

Thanks so much for all your opinions - it’s really helpful! Especially hearing first hand experiences. It’s interesting about having multiple siblings, as I only had one sister and didn’t like the direct rivalry of 1 on 1 - I guess all dynamics come with their struggles! We wouldn’t move so two children would eventually have to share a room until we could afford to extend. Again, I did this growing up as we didn’t have big houses and didn’t know any different really. But, someone feeling left out and the general chaos, is still my food for thought! Will come back to this post someday and update haha!

Pls do come back and let us know what you ended up deciding on :)