I was 31 when I fell pregnant, 32 when I gave birth. I was married to DH who is a year older than me. I alike you, also had the feeling of not knowing if I was ready, but knew time was ticking.. I’ve never been hugely maternal, (with friends babys etc) but knew I always wanted to be a mum, but never really felt ‘broody’. It took us a while to conceive, over a year. (No fertility issues that we are aware of)
What i will say, is I HUGELY underestimated the shift that would happen, having a child. I had a great pregnancy, C section birth which went well and recovered well, he was a incredible newborn, quiet, slept and fed well, a dream. But the huge shift in living for yourself and your partner, to being 1000% responsible for this little human is massive. Your time isn’t your own, your plans aren’t your own, you are needed, 24:7.
Ive found that incredibly difficult to navigate. I really took for granted how easy my life was before and I do grieve it. I adore my DS, he’s my world but Fuck me… it’s hard work. We’re nearly at a year old now, and I’ve found it just continues to get harder, although it’s incredible to see who he’s becoming, the workload just becomes more and more …. 3 meals a day; nappies, naps, stimulation, baths, mess and clean ups, teething, then once they’re moving… they’re into everything, it’s eyes in the back, side and front of you head, it’s whinging, sleep regressions the list is endless.
Im aware I’m making this sound VERY doom and gloom. But I truly wish someone had told me about this side of parenthood instead of giving me the sunshine and rainbows speech while pregnant.
There are of course, many many beautiful moments inbetween the chaos. But unless you’re ready and willing for your life to do a 360.. choose wisely.
The loud noises isn’t just crying, once they start to find their voices it’s screeching and screaming, at home and in public
The worrying and anxiety, you will feel deeply. I worry constantly, is he eating enough, is he meeting his milestones, is he unwell, what’s that? What’s this. Google became my best friend. And with worry comes anxiety.. but there is support for that out there during pregnancy and postnatal.
Also your partners flippant attitude, (not knocking him) but, you have to be both in it 100%. Because it’ll shift the dynamics of your lives and relationship. You HAVE to lean on eachother; help eachother and support eachother through it. I’m lucky; my DH is an amazing father. He lives for me and our DS. But it’s still pushed us to the brink at times (sleep deprivation, lack of time to yourself and the challenging days/times will do that).