Potty training 3 yr old HELP

[AlanaNeedsHelp]

At my wits end. DD just turned 3 and we’re on second attempt at potty training and just cannot seem to get it right. Please help!!

1st attempt was a long weekend of nappy off at 2.5 and DD just held it for hours & hours and refused potty so ended up with accidents - we were v calm with it all and just decided to try at a later point.

This time around, now 3, she has been doing it at nursery as her friends do it, and having some accidents but on the whole doing well. At home though, she refuses to even sit on potty or toilet. We’ve tried offering bribes such as stickers and chocolate, been relaxed, and then becoming more firm and telling her she’s a big girl and we’ve removed nappies. She communicates really well and understands, but just refuses and again ends up weeing on the floor. When she does sit on the potty she gets upset quite quickly and comes off it. Tried reading on potty to her, singing, watching tv - everything! You can see she needs to go and is visibly uncomfortable. This evening we told her we can’t go to bed and do all the fun stuff until she has done a wee, and 6 hours later (!), it ends up on the floor after holding it all that time and we are so frustrated. I fear we may have gone too far this way this time and she got scared (no shouting, just firmly told her it’s unacceptable)

As I say, she can do wee’s at nursery, and is showing progress but not at home (has done 2 wee’s in potty total over months of trying on and off) - she loves picking her knickers though and is happy to wear them.

HELP!!!!

It's so tough and I'm not sure we ever found the right answer but I remember genuinely thinking I'll be dropping my boy off at university in nappies. I read all the books and the weekend with the nappy off absolutely did not work for us even remotely. I'll be honest it was months of incremental progress and steps back. Realistically about 6 months until we were fully and reliably dry during the day. I followed all the actual advice but I'll tell you what worked in the end for us.

He was in a stage where he loved monsters and I so I told this big story about a funny monster that lived in the toilet and every night at bedtime I'd do a story about what the monster was getting up to. He got really interested in the toilet but still wouldn't go. One day he asked to meet the monster and I said you had to make friends with it and the way to make friends with it was to feed it wees and poos (cue hysterical laughing). He could go in the toilet on the special seat or in the potty and mummy/ daddy would tip it in but not in the nappy. Anyway he started doing it and after he could do other challenges (flushing/ handwashing) to get the potty monster friends. That started us down the right track but it was still months of accidents and trying again and us being aware and reminding him to go. Now he takes himself off, flushes and handwashes.

All that is to say, you wouldnt find what worked for us in a book because it's terrible advice but is there something unique to her that could pique her interest? The toilet fairy who swaps wees and poos for little tokens. A toy that lives by the potty etc.

Thank you so much for your reply. She loves her stories so that’s a fab idea and definitely worth us giving a try. Thanks for taking the time to share that.

Some things take time and effort with routine to achieve results. Especially with children.