Playdate etiquette, what next

[Sarahrose96]

DS 6 is in year 2 of school, we haven't been on many playdates, he sees friends at after schools clubs and activities but he has asked about meeting up with friends a few times.
So far this year I've taken a boy and DS to a little activity and another boy has come to our house for a little playdate. Both went well and parents had advised they would take my DS next time however its never been mentioned again. Ive seen the parents since, usually a quick hello at pick up but that's it.
Not sure what to do, should i message parents about another playdate and offer to host again?

Yes, message and offer to host again. It might prompt them to suggest hosting themselves, but be prepared that it won't (not everyone has the time or energy to host).

Just offer to host again. Some people just won’t be able to reciprocate even if they want to. If you’re happy to host just invite kids round.

It's a bit of a minefield so really, you just have to decide what you're willing/able to do and ignore the rest. Some people will talk a lot about hosting, but never do it. Others dont' even mention it. Some are scrupulous about taking turns. Some have different ideas about what constitutes a play date (the ones who turn up exactly 90 minutes after drop off are, in my opinion, as irritating as the ones who leave their children for 5 hours and you start to wonder if you'ave accidentally agreed to a sleepover. But that's me).

Over time, as you get to know families a bit more, you'll get a sense of who is genuinely just not able to host vs the piss takers vs those who just have a slightly different approach. Then, again, you decide for yourself and your Ds what you're willing/able to accomodate.

Thanks for the responses, it's more annoying that they say in front DS they'll host so he's asking me about it! Ill message one or two over the Christmas break, its a busy time of year I guess!

DC in year 3 here.

I’ve initiated lots of play dates.

Some people have invited us back, in one case when I invited the child a second time that prompted the mum to say it was her turn to host.

In other cases we have never been invited back.

I have a “3 strikes and you’re out” rule so if I have initiated 3 things with a child and there’s been no reciprocation I don’t invite them again.

Sounds harsh but reciprocation is important to me (unless I know someone has a genuine reason not to be able to reciprocate, like health problems, obviously that’s different).

Thankfully we’ve now whittled DD’s classmates down to a group of about 4/5 friends who all reciprocate. So I invite them regularly and don’t bother with the rest.

If you're happy to host again and your DS would like his friends over then message and offer to host. This may remind them to have your son over instead. Or they may, for whatever reason, not be in a position to reciprocate at the moment. Either way your son gets to play with his friend and that's what you want, so it's a win-win really.

I dont reciprocate because we live in a tiny flat with not enough space! But I don't say that I will either.

I wouldn't always expect DS to go to their house, we took a friend to a local event and there are always parks etc

I dont reciprocate because we live in a tiny flat with not enough space! But I don't say that I will either

But you could still suggest a meet up in the park or elsewhere?