Fear of drowning!

[BellaBal]

Ds6 has started Stage 5 class which at our pool means he’s swimming out of his depth all lesson. He’s good at crawl and backstroke, but struggles with most other strokes and techniques like sculling

He has become obsessed with a fear of drowning - cries on the way to the lesson; he has twice had to leave the pool because he was crying so much due to fear.

His teacher is nice, but brisk, and doesn’t pander to the young ones (most of the class are older kids). I’d happily have left him in Stage 4 another month or two but they moved him up!

Should I ask to move him back to stage 4? Change swimming school? How can I increase his confidence?

I used to swim with him every week but I had to stop for several months due to a medial problem, I’m hoping I can help his confidence if I resume our fun swims. I thought if we spend time just a little out of his depth he will grow in confidence and be sure he can tread water safely

Stop the lessons and go to beach on holiday, stick to shallow bits ( obviously) and let him discover his joy of water play.

sorry rediscover
he won’t enjoy the lessons or get anything out of them if he’s scared.

Are you able to take him to the pool outside of his lessons (I know you have said you had to stop this but is this still the case?) This will be the best way to help him with his confidence in the pool, allowing him to get him used to being in deeper water, treading water and jumping into deeper water will help, and just have fun in the pool.

Is the entire lesson in the deeper end of the pool? This does seem unusual for Stage 5, maybe changing swimming pools might be a good idea if this is an option.

Changing instructor might help him feel more comfortable, or even just changing to a different group. In Stage 5 they are still being taught technique so it won't be an issue if he can't do the strokes properly yet, but he should have reached a level of proficiency for him to be moved from Stage 4 to 5.

Hello, thanks for the ideas.

i don’t really want to stop lessons here as i think it will cement the idea in his head that he can’t swim in deep water and that will be his abiding memory of swimming lessons and swimming in general.

i am going to have to get back in the pool with him - I should be safe to do so if I’m careful now, and he likes swimming with me.

The entire lesson is in the deep end, yes. It’s a big jump as stage 4 is swimming 10m maximum in shallow end, and suddenly now they are swimming 30’m out of their depth (as they swim half-length to just past the mid point of the pool and back again).

He can do all the skills, he just psyches himself out. He has a new teacher and she agrees we can switch times to a different lesson with his old teacher who he trusts and likes. So we have made some progress!

I’ve never seen a child crying in fear at the swimming pool before, feel out of my parenting this (excuse the pun!)

Yes it must be really difficult and I would agree about trying to persevere but with the extra 1 on 1 time in the pool so he can be reassured that he will be OK. I wouldn't be worried about missing one or two lessons in the meantime. It's totally natural to feel worried in deep water, its your subconscious mind trying to protect you and keep you alive (have you heard of the Chimp Paradox?). But your son needs that reassurance that he will be OK, because he can swim and he can float. Being worried at first when you start to swim in deeper water is natural, but he will get used to it and he will be OK! Hopefully he will be OK after a few sessions with you.

He is doing really well to have reached stage 5 at only 6 years old.

I understand the worry i have ben there myself. I started with swimming pads and in the swallow end first. I swam in the deep end eventually but this took a few months.