Toddler rejection is making me so upset

[rosiebutterfly]

My girl is 2.5 years old and all of a sudden she acts like she hates me, only wants daddy. She’s always been a mummy’s girl up until two weeks ago and it all of a sudden switched. I had the flu and was bed bound for 8 days and the subtle things started when I got back up again, he could only pass her a snack etc etc but now it’s full blown secluding me.
The weird thing is is when she wakes up she’ll scream mummy (my husband can only get her up now from naps and put her to bed etc otherwise she goes crazy) but when she sees me she won’t want to interact with me even if she’s been screaming my name, I know I shouldn’t take this personally but I’m neurodivergent and the rejection is really really making me very upset I don’t show it in front of her but I cry for hours, every rejection feels like a stab. She is literally my world, literally everything to me and i feel so broken that she just doesn’t want to be near me I had another baby 6 months ago aswell but she seemed to adjust to that fine but I just have no idea if this will ever end, I don’t even mind if she has a favourite that’s not me it’s just the constant pushing me away as when I was the favourite she didn’t kick off or treat my husband like this, it just feels horrible as when we do play dates with my other friends with toddlers the same age they still all want mummy and my child doesn’t so even that upsets me to see. I don’t really have any family so she really is my world so I’m struggling with this dynamic right now any advice

It sounds like you are your daughter’s primary attachment and she’s securely attached to you but is just trying to make sense of the feelings she had when you were out of action for eight days. It was probably confusing and a bit scary for her (obviously couldn’t be helped).
Might be worth doing some reading on attachment theory just to reassure yourself.
You could try doing some play around this with her - perhaps what happens when the mummy bear is ill and has to stay in bed.
It absolutely will pass though and she just needs you to be calm and reassuring with her and still be there even when it looks like she’s rejecting you (which she isn’t really).

A few things that helped us...

• If she asks for water and you go to give it to her and she says "no, daddy do it" calmly let her know that she can either have the water from you or you can put it away for now. Work as a team with your partner to make sure he isn't leaping in to meet her demands when you are already helping.
• continue to alternate who does bath times etc. She'll kick off, but see it through. "I know, daddy's great, I love him so much too! Tonight it is mummy's bath time, and tomorrow it will be daddy again".
• she doesn't have to give hugs etc if she doesn't want to (although I do get how hard this is!) but she does need to acknowledge you when you say hi to her. This can be verbally or a high five, but if she doesn't then the TV/book/game that she's doing stops until she does say hi

Best of luck!

OP, I think you are overthinking this a bit. It's very normal for 2 year olds to behave like this and it's only been for two weeks. I think that by reacting so emotionally you risk turning this into a bigger deal than it really is. Personally I'd stay calm, pretend you don't mind and wait for it to pass.

Normal. My 4 year old has always chopped and changed her 'preferred parent'. I was very upset the first time she was in a major daddy phase but honestly now I embrace it! You want Daddy to give you a bath and put you to bed? Fine I'll go and read my book on the sofa with a cuppa 😍