I still love my children’s dad

[Lostsoul2025]

So I have young children with my ex. Up until 8 months ago we were still on and off after nearly 10 years together. We both tried dating other people but kept coming back but both couldn’t get over the other being with someone else.

hes now with the same girl that he dated (while stringing me along).

anyway i tried telling him to do one and have been strong for so so long. I love him and i know he loves me. Our kids constantly ask why we’re not together anymore (they are really small).

Christmas is horrible as this time last year we done it together.

i have this deep dark feeling in my souls that we’re meant to be together and never should of followed our egos.

i feel sorry for the woman but she was more than aware that we were sleeping together and chose to continue to get involved.

should I say something for the sake of my kids and family or do I leave it with him thinking I’m over it.

honestly I know this is a horrible situation for all but I’m just so sad. My poor children torn between homes and I don’t even think it’s what we want 😅

Has anyone been in this situation and got back with their children’s dad??? I don’t know why I wasn’t honest with my feelings sooner.

I wrote a similar post yesterday about still loving my ex although neither of us have met anyone since I think the fact there is someone else involved makes it more difficult especially if he was sleeping with you both?

Realistically, I think you need to move on @Lostsoul2025, for the sake of your family. You've had multiple chances to make your relationship work and, kindly, it hasn't.

Besides, from what you've written, it doesn't sound like your ex is on the same page. If you haven't confessed your feelings to him, then by all means do so (and even outline where you think you both went wrong), but I think it needs to be for closure. Tell him that you love him and because of this you need minimal contact for a little while in order to move past your feelings and get your head straight. So, texts about the kids only, no lingering at drop-offs/pick ups, etc. No hanging out altogether, until you're through the worst of it. If he's a decent sort, he'll do that much for you. There's honestly nothing more disruptive to kids than parents who are on a rollercoaster ride together. They need parents who are clear on where they stand and can coparent effectively.

Forget dating for now, just get yourself a hobby or do a course. Something to take your mind off him and enjoy yourself when you've got some child-free time. Who knows, you might even meet someone nice doing an activity you enjoy!

Spoil yourself this Christmas, OP. Any luxury you can afford to make it bearable. You deserve it. Good luck!

What makes you think he loves you??
His behaviour doesn’t seem to suggest this. He’s sleeping with someone else.
He may be fond of you and you are entangled in his life as the mother of his children but he doesn’t appear to really want to be with you.

If you think it’s worth fighting for and you think he is on the same page, then I say go for it. Being a family unit makes sense for the kids for your financials and obviously if you love the person, then it makes sense. But why did you split up in the first place and are all these issues resolved because if they aren’t, you’re just going to go round in the same cycle.
Most men that I know will do anything to keep their family together. But just be prepared that he might still have things going on with this other woman if you get back together.