I want to leave my family

[PastBreaking24]

F35 2kids under 5
I've been pushed past my breaking point, I started having a mental breakdown earlier this year and having panic attacks that got all dismissed by my partner as he then became overwhelmed and took a couple months of work for his own mental stress. He started to get better and started doing everything to keep himself up while I had to try and hold all of myself together and the family and house and still get up in the night with kids and wake up at 4am for work, to come back and clean and do school pick up and make dinner and bath and bedtime on my own as he works til midnight.
We've not felt like we've been in a relationship for nearly 2yrs it makes things extremely difficult. I have now reached my actual breaking point that I have fully disconnected from him and the kids to the point I now do not want to be part of their lives at all and want to give up all my rights.
I don't know what to do and if this is normal or anything now I feel like I'm going crazy but I really am totally disconnected.

So sorry you are suffering like this. You are greatly in need of help - what you’re going through sounds awful. Please go to your doctor and tell her how you feel for starters. Do you have any wider family support you can draw on? A parent or sibling?

Go to the doctor and seek help. Could your dcs stay with family for a couple of days to give you a few new ni ghts sleep?

Contact your GP first thing. No, what you're going through isn't 'normal' but it's a perfectly understandable response to extreme sleep deprivation and emotional burn out..

You need some rest. The GP will be able to sign you off work and your partner will need to take some time off to to look after the children and home.

Unfortunately no I don't have anyone around, they live all very far away with their own families or have passed away so I am very much stuck in a position I feel like all I want to do is escape.

I've spoken to a couple friends and it's made me really realise how much I am disconnected from my own kids now. I didn't even think this was possible but I just feel like I'm a stranger to them, like they aren't mine at all and I'm not sure how to manage this now. I never thought I'd feel like this.😭

Can you go away by yourself for a weekend, at a friend’s or even Premier Inn?
ideally really a week at least

The disconnection you feel is what I felt when suffering from burn out. It isn’t normal, it’s I think a well recognised symptom of working way past your breaking point. It’s protective to an extent. I agree with PPs saying to get to your GP - you should get signed off from work at a minimum. Do you have friends who could help give you a bit of space and time to breath? Would your partner do more if he recognised how unwell you are?