2.5 YO toddler hates me

[PickledElectricity]

I'm sure it's related to me having his little brother 7 months ago. There's 2 years a few days between them. No, not planned, before anyone starts bashing me.

I am so sad. It took us 4 years to conceive him, he was a very much wanted baby. He was a cuddly, clingy little baby and young toddler but now rejects me so much.

I am not allowed to kiss or hug him.

We used to cuddle in the rocking chair before bed but now I've been demoted to holding his hand through the cot bars - like in prison.

I kissed his hand and he wiped it off in disgust.

I've been trying to be patient but it's killing me. It's such a striking difference to how he used to be and the lovely relationship we used to have.

He also acts up so so much, for attention I'm sure, and I end up shouting at him more than I'd like, especially at the end of the day. That's probably not helping.

I'm just so sad and tired. Feeling sorry for myself but I don't know how to turn this around.

When I had my 2nd my daughter, who was 3.5 at the time, started being really distant with me and only wanted her dad all the time. When she was around me she would ignore me or act up which ofc led to her getting in trouble. She loved her brother a lot but she really struggled with how much attention he needed.
It didn't last long though. I hope this passes soon for you.

i can hear the sadness in your voice. I have two boys who are 23m apart and I can honestly say it’s been a really great thing overall. The first 6 months were awful though! He will forgive you - and if he’s gaining independence in the sleep department that sounds great.

about the acting up - you’ll probably find that he finds all attention positive and negative rewarding and he just wants to know that he’s still important. When he’s acting up try and deflect it into positive attention. I didn’t do enough of this because I didn’t really understand at the time.

Mine are both double digits now and although they fight constantly, they really do love each other. They spent the whole day yesterday playing with trains and building an ever more elaborate track. I couldn’t believe it!