Advice about DC5 saying they hate school (Year 1)

[droopytreealready]

My DS has been saying he hates school. He is noticeably grumpy all week then so much happier at the weekends. Since starting Year 1 he has disengaged from phonics / reading which he used to love. He has loads of books and we read every night but he has stopped enjoying it. He used to like sitting with us looking at books, but no longer. He is flat out refusing to practice phonics or read the school books they send home. I’m not pushing it because I don’t want it to become a chore for him, but inside I am worried.

He has slipped back a bit with his reading ability and his speaking. The teacher says not a major concern yet but they are aware and monitoring. She says he has noticeably started losing focus in phonics sessions sometimes.

He is very active and enjoys being outside. He has a good core group of friends. The teacher says he’s independent in class and gets on with everybody, and is polite.

He enjoys music, swimming, drawing, playing board games, nature and watching tv. But he says he hates school and all the work they have to do.

I have tried all sorts of tactics to stealthily get him engaging in phonics / reading but to no avail. He is saying he hates school. It’s really hard to hear and know what to do. I am a teacher (secondary) and I know the impact school refusal can have on a young person’s life. We really want him to enjoy school.

My husband (his dad) wonders if we should engage some kind of extra curricular club / tutor for reading which is fun- but I don’t know if there is such a thing or if it would help. Certainly what’s happened is he’s slipped behind lots of the other kids and now he’s giving up. He’s quite competitive and only tries at things when he thinks he’s good at it and can be the best. In Year 1 I gather they’ve been reading in groups so I suspect he’s heard how advanced others are and just opted out. Over the summer he fell behind and now I feel like it’s slipping out of our hands.

He is summer born for context.

Has anyone experienced this, particularly with an active boy aged 5, and what advice do you have? Thank you

If his sense of self esteem is bound up with being the best, then I’d look into supporting his resilience.

Have you/school tried a task management board? He can tick off the steps as he does them to get a sense of achievement.Also, praise effort not results can help too.

Thank you. Yes we always praise effort over achievement.

He flat out refuses to do anything towards “school work” or reading at home now. Even if we break it down, make it fun etc. He is an incredibly strong willed kid and I am not sure what to do next. Other parents say “just do 5 minutes a day” as if it’s easy, but he simply won’t.

Bumping during my lunch break

He is really young. Could he be tired ?

He probably coasted in R and Year 1 is a shock and he benefitted from the more play, movement etc. I would lay off anything for now and review when he goes back in January.

Both my DS started saying that they didn't like school in Y1. Reception was all playing based learning and free flow. In Y1 they transitioned to more formal learning with the free flow sessions dropping after the first couple of weeks.

They settled down in the spring term once the excitement/exhaustion of the Christmas run in at school had finished and they'd had a break at home

Thank you. His school has adopted continuous provision up until year 2, so it’s still the same free flow style play as reception. Albeit with national curriculum embedded.

yes he certainly is tired and keeps asking when Christmas is (meaning the school holidays).

Sounds like it might help to take the pressure off and play far more games. Definitely no tutor. Read funny stories and poems to him, sing counting songs, play fun counting games, lots of physical movement and set up natural activities that support maths and reading such as cooking, measuring, timings you when you run etc.

Talk to school about the fact you're doing this.

Schools push too hard too young for quite a few kids, the best antidote is to play not teach.

Is he bored? My DS is a summer born Year 2 and he complains about school a lot because he finds it very boring. He also doesn’t really like reading at home either but he knows that it’s his teacher’s rule and so does it (slowly and painfully - although he’s a fluent reader). I’m afraid I’m not very sympathetic and just tell him how boring my job is in return…