My family has a cold

[muddle123]

Me and my partner and my baby all have colds and while everyone is okay all my partner wants to do is let his mum look after our baby. This is our baby first cold. He’s only six months old. And I’d rather Look after him and comfort him as I think I should do as his mother, but my partner disagrees? I don’t understand what to do. Am I thinking wrong? Should I just pass him over? I get the intention is nice but I want to be my baby’s mother and look after him when he’s sick despite if I am sick.

My boyfriend has mentioned that he thinks that I don’t want anyone to look after our baby, it’s not that I don’t it that I’m on maternity leave till February and I’m never gonna get this chance with my baby again so I’m just grabbing a hold of everything but I feel like no one gets that or no one lets me. My mother-in-law just continuously asks to have him And we’ve literally just come back on holiday where I spent five days continuously with her. I just want a break but no one seems to get that it’s not that I’m trying to be mean. It’s just I want privacy, to be alone with my baby just feels like I’m asking for too much.

You’re ill and your partner wants you to be able to rest and get better not run yourself into the ground by trying to do everything for everyone.

Take the offer of the help from your MIL. It doesn’t have to be for long, just a couple of hours for you to nap or relax.

You need to get comfortable with the idea of accepting help so that you don’t become a martyr who one day is complaining that they’re so tired and stressed and no one around them offers to do anything but really it’s because people got sick and tired of offering and trying because they were always told no.

Absolutely this. I wonder if you'd be saying the same if it was your own mum offering to look after the baby? I never understand these threads of people complaining about family members offering to help look after a baby. Looking after a baby when you're unwell is hideous, I'd take any support offered.

Honestly I'd stop being such a martyr. Your MIL offering to have the baby for a few hours isn't going to impact on your bond with him or your time with him when you still have over two months of maternity leave left. It'll be great for your baby to build a bond with their grandparent and allow you to have some rest too.

I’d maybe keep the baby through the worst of it but once hes no longer contagious hand him over to the mil then.

No point in giving her the bugs now. That way she can look after baby and let you rest.

Id hand him over more as a matter of course so he gets more familiar with her. Unless you fear she isn’t capable.

I'm guessing you aren't breastfeeding as if you were, it wouldn't be possible for more than a couple of hours anyway. So it's up to you how you frame it. You can think of it as, lots of mums wouldn't be able to anyway, so I'm entitled to say no to this offer (my baby fed like a demon when she had a cold). Or you can frame it as it being a good way for you to have a break and build up some strength. Neither is wrong! It's just one of those things where there isn't a right or wrong answer, it's just what works for you, this time. Next time might be different. And after catching 4 colds in a row, your MIL might not offer again 🤣. Do whatever you are most comfortable with.