Hi all,
Looking for some perspective because we’re feeling totally out of our depth.
DS (5) started Primary 1 in Scotland in August. The first four weeks were absolutely fine — he settled well, no issues raised at all. But since then things have deteriorated in a way we really didn’t expect.
He has become very disruptive in class: disrespectful to teachers/TAs, refusing to do work, being physical towards staff, throwing things, overturning furniture. School say he becomes “dysregulated” frequently, but then also say he’s making “poor choices” at these times — which doesn’t really fit with the definition of being dysregulated, so I’m struggling to understand what they actually think is going on.
His confidence has plummeted, and he’s now starting to socially withdraw, which is heartbreaking because he has always been such a sociable, well-liked little boy.
Nobody (including school and his previous childcare setting) suspects anything neurodevelopmental. He had two years in an early years setting with absolutely none of these issues, and he behaves well in other settings now too. There’s also no school refusal — he actually wants to go in every day.
We’re starting to worry he’s been over-corrected or told off so much that he’s now almost acting out the behaviour he thinks is expected of him. Some of these behaviours are now spilling over at home — either new ones or a more intense version of things we’d only seen very occasionally before and assumed were developmentally normal.
We genuinely don’t know what to do next. Has anyone experienced anything similar? How did you approach it? We can’t tell whether this is a sign the school is simply not a good fit, or whether this would have happened anywhere. The school have been supportive in terms of communication and support, but I can’t shake the feeling that he’s been misunderstood from the start of these issues and that it’s now colouring how they interpret everything.
Any advice, similar experiences, or even just a handhold would be really appreciated. We’re at a loss.