FTM anxiety

[Bxxth]

I’m a first time mum to my daughter who’s now 8 weeks old, I’ve struggled a lot mentally post birth with pnd & ppa. I’m constantly filled with anxiety about the way I’m raising my baby, all of her naps during the day are contact naps and I struggle to get her to sleep consistently in her next to me at night. We manage a few hours but she tends to wake a lot and can be difficult to soothe in her next to me. We’ve had a tough time with reflux, which I think contributed to poor sleep, she’s now on omeprazole for this though but we’re only on day 2 so far. I’ve had people telling me that my baby is playing me and that I’m creating a rod for my own back by not letting her cry it out and learn to self soothe in her cot but I don’t agree with this, surely she’s far too young for that?

If I try to put my baby down for naps during the day she’ll wake either straight away or within 5/10 minutes, she won’t fuss but I know if she doesn’t get a good enough nap then I’ll end up with a grouchy, overtired baby which is why I’ve leaned into the contact naps!

Everything they’re saying is creating more anxiety for me, is it possible for habits to be created at 8 weeks old? Could she be getting used to contact napping meaning she won’t sleep independently?

What was everyone else’s experience like at this age?

At 8 weeks old she is too young for cry it out or any of that stuff - sleep training can start at the earliest about 4 months really (some people would say wait till 6 months but i personally did it at 4 months). Both maternity nannies i used suggested that before 3 months they don't really get use to much in the way of patterns at all - and they are still pretty easy to adjust when they are older - e.g. with both mine i used a dummy for bit and then dropped it at about 3 months cold turkey and it was easy to do so. Dropping a dummy with 1 year old might be hard work! I would focus on surviving and getting yourself into reasonable shape first and then worry about habits and patterns etc at about 3-4 months. The reflux will have been a big driver of sleep issues - my son had the same - omeprazole takes a little time to kick in but also make sure it is being given on an empty stomach, not mixed in with milk. My trick was mixing it with a tiny bit of apple juice and water in a large syringe and then feeding it to her. When they are this young swaddling is also the main way to help them to sleep in their cot themselves and not contact nap.

Also, whatever you do on sleep your child will be ok - they won't be lifetime bad sleepers just because you didn't get their sleep routine perfect at 3 months old. You are the one who takes a lot of the hit from sleep issues unfortunately and that's hard, especially as you probably need sleep to recover from your PND - but see if you can get someone else (your partner, family members, etc) to do a stint overnight so you at least get 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep.