Almost 2-year-old stopped napping at nursery

[RJmama]

DD is 22 months. She attends nursery full time, 5 days a week. A little while back she moved room in nursery and is now in with slightly older children, and since then her naps have become incredibly short, to non-existent. Unlike in the baby room where they had a separate sleep space, the older ones nap on mats in the same room and I think she just finds it way too distracting and gets
major FOMO; the range of ages in this room means that some children will have stopped napping completely so there’s always something happening when it’s nap time.

The staff say they try to have her sleep but she just won’t have it. We’ve asked if she can go into the separate sleep space when possible and they do try, but some days it’s full with the younger ones sleeping, fair enough. When we speak with them about it, they say they will keep trying, but also that some children drop naps earlier than others, etc. They also say she’s in a good mood during the day and doesn’t really show any signs of tiredness. She eats really well and loves all the activities. When we get her home in the evening, it’s a mixed bag: sometimes she’s in a great mood and other days you can tell she’s very tired and this comes out in grumpiness, tantrums etc.

The thing is that she does nap at home at the weekends, anywhere from 1-1.5 hours. At home it’s quieter, and dark, and she has her cot, all of which helps. Which makes me wonder if she is truly ready to drop the nap.

At the moment at least, her nighttime sleep seems mostly unaffected: she’s slept for 11-12 hours the last few nights. I guess I’m nervous as when she first started nursery (she was 12 months then) she had awful daytime sleep as well and it really impacted the nighttime, lots of waking up and being unable to settle.

Does anyone have any advice or similar experiences to share? I want to say to the nursery to keep trying; after the initial settling in period when she first started she did start napping quite well in the baby section, albeit it took 3 months for that to start happening. So I wonder if it’s the same here: the novelty will wear off a bit and she’ll be more inclined to have a sleep. She’s been in the new room around 2 months now. I worry that she isn’t getting enough sleep and what impact this might have on her development etc.

Thanks if you’ve made it this far!

I’d say ask nursery to keep trying.

But ultimately some kids do drop a nap at this age anyway. My eldest did.

Both mine dropped all their naps at 18 months, so it's not unusual.

It didn't have an impact on nighttime sleep - the one that was a poor sleeper still didn't sleep, and the one that was a good sleeper still slept!

My youngest only napped a couple of times a week at this age. Obviously ask the nursery to keep offering the quieter sleep space if available. My youngest is 27 months now and can still be really grotty after 5pm but will no way nap unless in the car.

Thanks everyone. The fact that she naps at the weekend (without any cajoling from us) really suggests to me it’s an environmental/stimulation thing rather than her really being ready to drop the nap. If that’s the case then I would hope she’ll gradually become used to the new nap environment, so asking the nursery to keep trying will be key. I don’t know if going 5/7 days without a daytime nap is ideal, even if her nighttime sleep is ok.

My DC2 stopped napping at nursery around the time he turned 2, I can't remember the exact age. He still napped on non-nursery days (he only went to nursery 2-3 days a week) until he was about 2.5.

I think it's fair enough to ask the nursery to continue to try and offer her nap but to be honest if she's stopped I can't imagine she will go back to napping there. With both my 2, once the nursery naps were consistently gone they never came back, they'd adjusted to the new routine. And they were fine. However appreciate mine only went to nursery 2-3 days a week and they'd catch up a bit on the non nursery days I think.

I wouldn't worry about it anyway if she seems happy enough that's the main thing. It's normal to be grumpy and tired after a long day, I am sometimes! If she's otherwise her normal self then im sure she's getting enough sleep overall across the week.

Out of interest, when did she drop to one nap? Also, what does her key worker think of her not napping at nursery?

If it's not affecting her night sleeps, then I wouldn't worry. Let nursery continue to offer them incase the stimulation and new routine of the new room is preventing her from napping. Once the novelty, and any FOMO, wears off she may return to napping.

I doubt she will though tbh. Nursery workers are nap whisperers, and could get my kids to nap at nursery after they'd already dropped their nap at home. My eldest dropped her nap completely at 22 months, after frequently refusing it since 18 months. It wasn't entirely unsurprising to me as she'd dropped to one nap at 9 months, and had never been a good daytime sleeper, but nursery were slightly taken aback at the time. My daughter was so good and compliment in all other ways, her firmly refusing to nap came as a shock to them.

She sleeps 11 - 12 hours at night?
Count your blessings!

She dropped to one nap around 12-13 months, pretty much as soon as she started nursery tbh. They attempted to keep to her 2-nap schedule when she started but, just like now, she just wouldn’t sleep so we all agreed that they should attempt one nap and after an adjustment period, she did start having one decent nap there.

Her key worker doesn’t seem too phased; she’s said to us a couple of times that some children do drop naps earlier than others and seemed to be implying our DD might be one.

It’s just that she so readily naps at home at the weekends that makes me wonder.

She is mightily curious and into things; numerous people including nursery staff have commented on how sociable she is and how she throws herself into things. So I really do think it’s FOMO at play, whereas I suppose home is less interesting so she’s perhaps more inclined to nap.

And yes @StrongandNorthern I certainly am very grateful for the nights at the moment! It really wasn’t a smooth process to get to where we are. Which is why I’m always a bit edgy when there’s a change to her routine, as the night sleep was hard-won!

If she really wasn't getting enough sleep, I think you'd know about it – she'd be falling asleep in the car or buggy on the way home, she'd consistently be an overtired mess in the evenings after nursery, etc.

By all means ask them to keep trying, but I wouldn't worry too much that it's affecting her development.

@Dyra , I remember DD1's keyworker saying that nap refusal was the only hard 'no' she'd ever had off DD1. Apparently DD1 was polite about it, but it was a very decided 'no thank you' 😂

A bit of an update: we’ve had a photo come through on the parent app of her fast asleep on the mats 🥳 So for today at least, she’s had a sleep.

My 2.5 year old still naps at home for an hour and even if shes with grandparents or other members of the family. But she will absolutely not nap at nursery due to the fomo of missing out what other children are doing. She is only 2 days a week though so often we adjust her bed time or she just says she is tired much earlier than on other days. We would rather she naps but she needs to nap alone without any background and I feel like that's something the nursery can't provide. Not much advice but just to let you know you're not alone!