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Original poster

why does potty training have to be 'quick'?

36 replies

horseymum · 09/06/2008 09:39

loads of people seem to stress the benefit of leaving training as late as possible so it can be done 'quickly' ie in a week or less. Whenever you say you are using the potty for young children, people just say you are 'dragging it out'. Is it not ok to want to have fewer wet nappies overall, even though the 'process' from starting with potty at say 5 months, till completely nappy free at around 2 is taking much longer.

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SmugColditz · 09/06/2008 09:40

because the longer it takes, the longer you have a child pissing and shitting all over the floor and furniture

throckenholt · 09/06/2008 09:41

there is not right ot wrong way - whatever suits you is right for you.

For me - I wanted it to be quick just because it is a hassle (it wasn't quick for any of mine though - so so much for what I wanted ).

throckenholt · 09/06/2008 09:41

no right or wrong - that should read

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AitchTwoCiao · 09/06/2008 09:45

it can depend on childcare as well. it's not reasonable imo to expect a childminder or nursery to potty train your child for months, with all the attendant cleaning and disinfecting.

aren't you really talking about EC, though? again, something you have to have child carers fully on board with. my mum had us all out of nappies by one, but we weren't actually potty-trained so much as she was brilliant at reading cues and had the time and motivation to respond.

MrsBadger · 09/06/2008 10:04

Colditz took the words right out of my mouth...

I think there are merits to the technique of once you start going all out - no pullups, no going back in nappies for car trips etc - which is obv only a good strategy if they get the hang of it fast.

seeker · 09/06/2008 10:09

You may have fewer wet nappies over all, but you have more wet pants, wet floors, wet car seats and wet laps! What would be the advantage in taking 5 months?

seeker · 09/06/2008 10:09

You may have fewer wet nappies over all, but you have more wet pants, wet floors, wet car seats and wet laps! What would be the advantage in taking 5 months?

MrsBadger · 09/06/2008 10:11

NB at 5m surely they are too small to sit alone and unsupported on the potty?
I could understand starting when they were sitting in the hope of catching poo (esp if they are a clockwork 8am pooer).

BlueDragonfly · 09/06/2008 10:14

putting a 5mo on the potty isn't potty training, its poo/wee catching

nkf · 09/06/2008 10:15

Because it's a monumental bore and you don't want it going on too long.

misdee · 09/06/2008 10:20

you are talking about elimation communucation, not potty training.

that is a totally different ball game.

seeker · 09/06/2008 10:22

Sorry, I misread the OP.

My question shoulf have been "what id the advantage of starting at 5 months?" Isn't it just a lot of extra work, and doesn't it mean focussing on one particular element of a baby's behaviour?

Niecie · 09/06/2008 10:23

Potty training is horrible and I wanted it over as quickly as possible because

  1. To save the carpet and the furniture
  2. To be able to get out of the house occasionally without having to take a change of clothes or to live in fear that they would do something they shouldn't have done in the middle of Sainsbury's.

My mother, like a lot of the older generation, claims I was potty trained by 12 mths but since I could neither walk to the potty or talk (so no asking for it either) I think it was her that was trained not me.

PortAndLemon · 09/06/2008 10:39

That's not really potty-training, though, that's modified elimination communication (which is great, if it works for you, but isn't very compatible with childcare). If you are actually potty-training you want to do it quickly for all the reasons already outlined.

chocciedooby · 09/06/2008 10:47

It took me 8.6 months to train DS1!Started him at 2.6yrs.He quite clearly wasn't ready but I persisted and persisted because everyone I spoke to said I should never go back to nappies as it would confuse him.It was the most stressful part of parenting I had experienced.
So with DS2 I decided to wait until he initiated the training and he did.He is 3.2 and trained himself last week.It has been a breeze compared to DS1.The quick way saves a lot of stress for you and your toddler.

Umlellala · 09/06/2008 10:51

Um... not sure. Dd (2) will happily use the potty in the house especially if running around 'totally naked' but I am not 'oficially' potty training yet. But yes, it saves on nappies in the house . And it's a start. She instigated it herself btw, wanting to go on the toilet (then I put her in the bath ) and she did it, then in the potty. I have another on the way in 6 weeks so I am not about to start taking her out in pants and no nappies - seeing as she can't pull them up and down herself yet.

I think most people do do it gradually don't they? Just have a potty in the bathroom for a bit and model using the toilet and talk about and praise them and give it a go. Think the reason people do it later is because it is about the child instigating it, not the parent - maybe.

AitchTwoCiao · 09/06/2008 12:09

that's what we did, umlella, it seems to be working. there came a poiint at 2.5 where dd started asking to go to the toilet when we were out as clearly she preferred not to sit in her wet nappy in the buggy. we took that as the sign that she was ready to start in earnest. we are still having the odd accident, but even that is much less of a hassle than nappies.

however... if you are due to have another baby soon i believe the advice is to do nothing as it's a popular time to regress in any case, so you can lose any ground you've gained.

witchandchips · 09/06/2008 12:13

Think it depends on what you mean. DS took a day or so to go from nappies to a steady state of one accident every one or two days, then another 9 or so months to be completly dry. I'd much rater have this than 9 months of nappies but not sure I could have copied with many more accidents

Hulababy · 09/06/2008 12:15

I prefered quick and easy as it was less hassle for me. Less washing of wet clothes, less washing of wet floors/furniture, and less washing down of a wet baby. And it makes going out and about more hassle - I was out and about with the pram or car a lot when DD was little. And I was working PT and DD was at nursery PT - so would have had to have different systems for different days.

As it happened, DD chose to self PT at 24 months. By day 3 she had it cracked. For me, this was a far easier solution.

But there is no right and wrong way. If you don't mind the hassle, go for it.

Umlellala · 09/06/2008 12:32

Aitch, I think that's exactly what dd will do - start asking herself... They say it can happen very quickly when children are much older and 'ready'.

And i have heard that re regressing hence why i am not going to push to have dd toilet-trained yet!

merryandmad · 09/06/2008 21:02

my dd1 has just been potty trained (first week of her using the potty)- not because I deliberatley left her late- but because she would not wee/poo on the potty or toilet if she had a nappy on.-no accidents either- just dry all day until her bed time nappy went on.
She is 4 in September BTW.
After advice from the HV we deceided to leave the potty training until she was ready. She isn't 100% sure but we are taking it slowly. She has only had 1 accident in the week we having been wearing pants.
Sometimes parents have no option but to go slowly.
Now we are getting ready to start on dd2 who is 2 this week. (we think she might be earlier because she has seen dd1 getting praise for sitting on the potty.
PS. Sorry for the long post x

BabiesEverywhere · 09/06/2008 21:37

Yes, you are talking about ECing. But you can back up with nappies/trainer pants and so you have no wee/poo on the carpet either.

I see it as the best of both worlds....never have to bother with toilet training and less washing of nappies/pants in the meantime.

wulfricsmummy · 09/06/2008 23:46

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Original poster
horseymum · 10/06/2008 20:06

was asking as we do what is probably part-time EC i.e. - potty offered at every nappy change with something in it pretty much every time, (but still wee in nappies as well ). i just wondered why there was so much negativity and oh you must leave it till 2.5 years old. Can't see why people think it is so much of a hassle- we don't let her go around with no nappy on, just let her go frequently. surely the eaerlier you start the better? oh, well, everyone has their own methods-

OP posts:
CaraLondon · 10/06/2008 20:26

horseymum - I agree that the earlier you start, the better and ECing is the way for us - haven't had to clean a pooey nappy in three months and dd is 10m. We just offered the potty after naps and feeding, and have started doing just before and after we go out. There's always something, and she always seems so pleased with herself!

Mind you, it helps that she's a 8am and 12:30pm poo-er...must be the Shreddies for breakfast

Usually there's wee in the overnight nappy and after we come back from a trip in the buggy and that's fine - I think it is much more about her letting take control at her pace, rather than locking ourselves up for a week in two years' time.

Yes, it will take longer to train, and I can't see why that's a problem - this way seems to be a lot less hassle. She's still in nappies apart from two hours during the day when she is in knickers, and we haven't had an accident yet . But we are getting through fewer nappies (often she's dry during her lunchtime nap) and she gets to crawl and walk around without the restriction of a nappy for a short time during the day. She can often let us know when she wants to go - and that level of communication with a 10 month old is priceless.

But as you say, each to their own.