How to teach empathy compassion and gratitude and ensure dcs are not entitled selfish so and sos

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Dcs very fortunate that they don’t want for anything but I want to ensure they are aware that lots of people have nowhere near what they do and make sure they are empathetic and not entitled. They are 10 and 13 so old enough to understand. Are there any volunteering opportunities or other community events we can go to?

I try and make them do some chores but not very consistently..

Getting a lot of tween attitude at the moment so want to try and nip in the bud and also educate them on being less self centered!

Model it with them. You show empathy towards them with their feelings and they’ll learn and absorb how to do that with other people. It’s lovely when they start showing it back to you!

You model it. No one learns gratitude and empathy volunteering at a care home. If at 10 & 13, they haven’t already gotten it in the home, then it’s going to be hard to do. They learn it from how you treat them, how they see you treat people, the expectations you have. If you make a mistake (say something awful), own it, apologise, tell them what you should have done instead. If you have a friend who is going through a hard time, make them a little hamper with a card and take them with you when you leave it on her step. Speak kindly to retail workers and the lady who cleans the toilets at the station. Be grateful in your own life, don’t take things for granted, look out for people, give to charity and offer up your time to help people, bring them along to help too. It really is learned behaviour.

They are of an age where they are going to be obnoxious to you, unfortunately. The key is how they are to everyone else because that’s the world you’re launching them into.

For best results , you start early, like toddlerhood. You model it, you talk with them, you don’t hide the struggles other people/children have, you teach them to look beyond themselves , you don’t say yes to everything, you talk about money and the value of things in concrete terms and waste . Then you cross your fingers and hope for the best.

Modelling the behaviour is the best way by far. Then they see it little and often and in a whole host of different settings.

By those ages ours had been to different places with school, Scouting and sports clubs (singing in local nursing homes, supporting local charities at harvest festival bag packing in the supermarket etc), and saw that not everyone lived as well as we did. We give charity gifts every Christmas and they were involved with buying those gifts. They saw us donating the to the food bank at the supermarket etc.

They did not get everything that they asked for during the year and either bought things with their pocket money (only given when their household tasks were completed) or waited to ask for them as Christmas or birthday gifts.

This isn’t something that can be taught overnight.

Talk about it. When you walk past someone homeless, explain the housing situation in the UK for example. Discuss the news. Share ideas of how to support elderly neighbours and relatives. Etc.