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Does anyone have an 8 year age gap?

7 replies

areweoneanddone · 21/11/2025 19:54

We always wanted 2-3 children, with a few years between each, but it hasn't worked out that way for us.

Does anyone have an 8 year age gap?

Looking to hear what it was like, especially in terms of:

Going back to pregnancy and newborn days after 8 years.

The impact on the older DH.

The practicalities of having two children at such wildly different stages.

OP posts:
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OhMelons · 21/11/2025 20:08

I have an 8 year age gap. My eldest really struggled with the thought of having a baby around after so long of him being the only child but once his sister came along he absolutely adores her, and she does him too. Now that shes a toddler he finds her annoying but will still play with her in the evenings.

I didn't find going to having a newborn after so long too bad at all, alot easier than I was expecting but I think it might be because I have got older as I had my son quite young.

The only thing I struggle with is taking them out together by myself unless its the park eg, he's too big for soft play or shes too little to go and play football so one of them tends to get bored. Its alot easier when me and my partner take them out together as they both get stimulated.

HappyHermit2025 · 21/11/2025 20:17

I have a seven year age gap, a boy and then a girl. He wasn't at happy at first, but he loved her when she arrived. They annoy each other but the big older brother is there when she needs him and he's very loving and caring with her. Mine are 13 and 6 now.

OhBollocks23 · 21/11/2025 20:36

I have 8 years between my boys. Going back to pregnancy and babyhood was better than the first time round, so didn’t feel too much like a return to anything bad. DS1 was initially upset, but came round well before the birth.

We haven't found entertaining them tricky either. DS1 in some ways revisited his 'only child' childhood, and we tend to do fairly age-neutral activities anyway, like trips to the beach or walks. Otherwise, we'd divide and conquer, but this naturally (happily!) happened along the lines of mine and DH's interests (one sporty child, one more arty).

The boys adore each other. At 11 and 19, both are old enough to be on the same wavelength and now enjoy each other's company.

They're both our children, so regardless of the age gap, there are certain things they'll always have in common - the same sense of humour, the shared memories, the in-jokes at mum and dad's expense...

Eldest is now at uni, but comes home regularly (my only other regret is that sometimes I feel he's making up for lost time, sibling-wise) and they slip into their old ways.

This stage has been the hardest for me, though, in terms of DS2 flying the nest being so far in the future and going back to having, to some degree, an only child - lots of people seem to think that's a good thing though!

Obviously I have nothing to compare it to, but this age gap has worked well for us. While in some ways I wish I'd had them a bit closer together, maybe 5 years instead of 8, I am glad that we did get round to it in the end, rather than letting the age gap put us off.

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Sgtmajormummy · 21/11/2025 20:36

7 years and 8 months between mine. I was 30 and 38. DH is 7y older than me.

I had more problems in my 2nd pregnancy. Blood pressure, tiredness and gestational diabetes. Both births were without pain relief but I recovered faster with the first. I also breastfed for less time (9 months EBF and quick tail off whereas no.1 went on for 2 years+ until it was just for comfort).

DH was more hands on with no.1 as a baby but was more involved with teenage no.2. They need different parents at different ages.
I often say DC2 had 3 parents as it was love at first sight, care and protection but they were never playmates. We tried to do things that involved both kids but the first did have the benefit of being an only child for 8 years!

It works. I recommend it. You have less energy and patience with the younger one but you can call on experience so they don’t get treated like a precious first-born. No.2 got things earlier like a mobile phone or later curfew but they’ve both grown up good kids
Now they’re 27 and 19. It’s been a huge chunk of my life and I’m so glad the school years are behind me and I can get back to adulting.

Sillysoggyspaniel · 21/11/2025 20:43

There is nine years between me and my sister. I felt very sidelined. Physically the baby's needs were much greater than mine, but especially as I hit puberty my emotional needs were higher and they just weren't meant due to having a toddler. Just something to be very aware of. I grew to really dislike my sister, and it only improved when I went to university.

Merryhobnobs · 21/11/2025 21:47

There are nearly 8 years between my sister and I. Normal sibling relationship. We are very close but we are also good at winding each other up. I think we all adapt and make the best, there is no such thing as an ideal age gap.

SirChenjins · 21/11/2025 21:57

8 years between DC2 and DC3, and 10 between DC1 and DC3. Our happy mistake!

In terms of adjusting to pregnancy, mat leave and returning to work, I found it really easy. The older 2 were more independent so didn't need the same attention as a toddler - they were also very hands on with DC3 and they and their friends would entertain him for me. As they got older we had babysitters on tap and it was lovely to see them interact with each other. DC3 was a very easy baby and toddler, and has grown up to be a very relaxed young man - nothing fazes him really.

I think the only downside if you can call it that is that DH is in his early 60s and I'm mid fifties, and we have an 18 year old. Our friends are all either retired or coming up for retirement and have been child free and independent for some years now, whereas we've been ferrying children and teens around for years and dealing with the usual teenage stuff at an age where we're probably a bit tired of it! Other than it's been great and definitely more upsides than downsides. DC3 is very close to his older siblings and in true teenager fashion often asks them to buy stuff for him or lend him cash - cheeky beggar that he is.

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