Nearly 4 year old and mornings

[notamorningpanda]

Hi, I'm just after some advice on how to make our mornings run smoother. DD is nearly 4 and is really difficult to get her up and ready for preschool in the morning. To the point that I've been late for work a few times recently :-(

She just will not get out of bed and takes ages to get dressed (even with help) and out the door. We have to walk to preschool which is about 10 minutes at normal pace but we are regularly taking more like 25 minutes because she walks so slowly and stops constantly. Does anyone have any strategies that help? I've been trying to be patient with her as I find if I'm more stern she will just have a meltdown and things will take even longer. I also have a 1 year old so tricky to juggle them both. DH helps but he also has to get to work and DD often will only get out of bed and dressed for mummy.

At 3, I think if she’s hard to wake up in the morning, she needs more sleep. Most of them are up for 5-6am. 😳 So if she’s say struggling to get up at 7-8am, earlier bedtime.

Otherwise, I’d say that getting dressed, breakfast, shoes on IS a struggle. My 12 year old struggles with it most mornings. The key is having enough time and all hands on deck. Your Dh has to get involved. There’s no, but mummy does it better. He has to knock this on the head.

At 3, I think a 10 minute walk to preschool is probably a big ask. My 7 year old would do it, but it wouldn’t be easy many days. I’d use a pushchair, baby in a sling if you only have a single, or buggy board. I think there are times when you can expect they walk, but if you need to get somewhere and she’s tired and it’s cold, you can’t expect it to be easy. Most adults would grumble about a 10 minute walk to the station except on the really good days.

Hello! My DH is away at the moment and I have a 4 year old to get to school and a 1 year old, so I empathise! Having everything laid out the night before (coffee cup, bowls for cereal, cereal, clothes, etc etc etc) helps us and make everything as much of a routine as possible, e.g., first we go for a wee, then we get dressed, etc etc. Some strategies that have worked with my 4 year old include "let's get dressed before Daddy sees!", "let's get dressed under the duvet!", "shall I get you dressed with your eyes closed? That will be so funny" and then also "I need to go downstairs, if you want to come with me, you need to get dressed. Are you staying up here, or getting dressed and coming down with me?" Can you mix up the walk at all? e.g., you choose bits that you rub together on. I always let mine dawdle on the way back, but on the way there, we march!!!! I say that she'll have to explain to her headteacher why she's late and that helps.... We also wake up at 7 and need to leave around 8:35 so we have lots of buffer time. Can your husband look after the baby for a bit and you said to the 4 year old if they get dressed quickly, then you can play a game with them for 5 mins?

Go her to sleep earlier.
Hop into her bed for 5 mins first thing for cuddles and a chat before she get up.
Have a tempting breakfast/snack ready.
A visual morning routine so she knows whats happening.
Scoot to nursery, 10 mins at adult pace will always be at least 20 mins at child’s pace as their legs are just so much shorter!

Thanks everyone lots of good advice. Yes she may be tired in the mornings as she recently stopped napping during the day, but we have moved her bedtime a bit earlier to compensate already. She's normally in bed for 7:15-7:30pm and wake up time is 7am. She is usually awake already when we go in, the problem is just getting out of bed. Although I do sympathise with her, I hate to get out of a warm bed too!

Ideally we need to leave the house at 7:45am which has worked for a good while, it's just the last month or so that it's become more difficult. Probably the colder darker mornings are not helping. But perhaps it is not realistic to expect her to be ready in just 45 minutes and we somehow need to find more time. Just to be clear, we don't have breakfast at home as she has that first thing at preschool but we have a small snack either just before leaving the house or on the way.

I have considered taking her scooter with us but it's mostly uphill so I'd just end up carrying her scooter. She's too big for the buggy and I struggle to push a buggy with a big 20 month old in a sling! So I don't think we can do much about the walk taking ages, but I can manage the walk taking 25 mins as long as we are leaving the house one time.

We pick a kids timer on YouTube and my kids race against each other and the clock to get ready - worked when DC2 was a baby/toddler who didn't understand the rules fully so DC1 would win! While it's a bit irritating having to act like a kids TV presenter I do find making things into a game or doing silly voices does get decent results. I'd regularly be a monster with a liking for socks!

I'd also say probably an earlier bedtime and getting everything ready at night so it's all there waiting to go if you're not doing that already.

She might need more time with you in the morning.

Routine here is sitting in bed together for a cuddle and 5 mins playing, then downstairs for everything else. We keep uniform downstairs and I put it ready the night before along with pants and socks.
We tend to do wee, pants, socks, trousers then cuddle and something small to eat. Then tshirt and jumper and more cuddles. Then teeth (currently playing dentist to get this done as he hates it), then wash face and race against daddy to get shoes and coat on first.

Wity the cold snap we’ve added putting a dressing gown on to get downstairs which is apparently an exciting enough novelty that he can’t wait to get out of bed.

Have you tried a pull strap for the scooter? Or I actually prefer them wearing a small rucksack and then pushing – where the straps come out of the top of the rucksack makes a very effective handle, and I can steer and brake as well, which you can't with a pull strap.

If you need to move your little one into the buggy, if the ground is decent, you can push a buggy one-handed and still provide a 'hill assist' to the big one on a scooter. It would a struggle off-road where you really need two hands for the buggy, though.

@skkyelark ooo I didn't know these existed! Good idea, I might give this a go! There is a short off road section but it's mostly paved. Thank you so much!

My 4 year old loves to get out of bed on a cold morning to a “hot chocolate”. It’s just a mug of warm milk with a small sprinkle of cocoa powder on top. We make sure he’s in bed early enough to have 12 hours sleep plus enough time that there’s no rushing when we wake up. He likes some time to play. After a hot chocolate and porridge it’s dressed and brush teeth then he can play while I get ready. He scoots or cycles to nursery.

Up until about the age of 5/6 my dc needed to be in bed by 1830 which I know seems really early but they genuinely needed it. So maybe try an even earlier bedtime?

@IAmKerplunk yes I do wonder if she needs an earlier bedtime as she's always been high sleep needs. But I do wonder how people manage to get their kids in bed for 18:30!! We get home from the nursery run at 17:15 the earliest. Then we have a family dinner so the earliest we manage to head upstairs is 18:30. Then even without a bath it's at least 19:00 by the time she's in bed, but it's usually closer to 19:15. I feel she needs some time with us in the evening so I don't want to rush her too much.