Should this be a big deal at his age?

[bigcooklittle]

DS is 21 months and has been attending nursery since he was one. Recently, I’ve been pulled aside a few times by the staff in quite a concerning manner, to “draw my attention,” as they put it, to the fact that he can sometimes be a bit pushy. For example, if he wants something, he might push another child out of the way rather than going around, and he also does a fair bit of grabbing. This is the third time they’ve spoken to me about it, and I honestly don’t know what to say or do- they make it seem like a very serious issue.
At home, we would obviously correct him if he behaved like this, but when he’s at nursery I don’t see it myself, and it’s hard to know how I’m supposed to address it. Is this not fairly typical behaviour for his age, or should I be concerned?

Sounds totally age appropriate and they should be modelling what to do instead while keeping everyone safe. What do they say they want you to do?

Is he talking at all? This is common in younger children, because they don't really recognise other people as people yet, but by nearly 2 it is usual that they have started to understand people are different to objects, and most toddlers are starting to learn about taking turns.

Do you go to toddler groups or have friends over? If he doesn't have siblings then it could be that he just doesn't really have much opportunity to practice these things outside of nursery. You might also unintentionally centre his needs a bit much if he's your only child because of course as an adult, it's reasonable to work around the toddler and make allowances. But it can help to sort of deliberately point out things like oops, Daddy's in the way, EXCUSE ME DADDY! And get him to wait for things sometimes - don't always give him something he wants immediately just because he is little and doesn't understand. He will learn how to wait by sometimes having to wait.

Yes it’s typical for 21 months. Yes nursery have to tell you but no there isn’t anything you can do if he doesn’t do it at home. Just say thanks for letting me know and don’t give it a second thought.