Is it normal for my baby to not be put down?

[HaychEss]

FTM and my baby’s 2 months now and she just won’t be put down. I can’t get housework done, cook or even shower most of the time. Luckily DH is off on shared parental atm but when he returns to work in the coming weeks what am I going to do?! Any advice? Does this improve over time?

Normal and yes it gets better. Hopefully in a month!

Put her a sling, you'll get both your arms back! I basically wore one constantly and popped the babies in and out throughout the day. Can't you shower when she sleeps? Yes it gets easier x

how is she when you hold her?

mine was like that due to stomach issues and her eczema was starting at that stage. but she wasn’t exactly happy when being held either.

I had one of those. He would hyperventilate if I tried to put him down or give him to someone else to hold. I wore him in a sling for 18 months (luckily he kept himself quite small 😂). It was hard, but you just have to do whatever it takes to get through the day.

Anyway, he’s nearly 15 now, growing inches by the day it seems, and an absolute dream!!! He’s the third of four boys and of them all I would have put money on him being the most difficult teen, but he is by far the easiest!

’This too shall pass.’

My oldest was like that - and it was pre the days of paternity leave - exhausting. If it helps, she became a delightful toddler, schoolgirl, teen and adult. A ferociously clingy baby but a very independent grown up. So yes, it gets better, but you could be talking years, not weeks.

Totally normal. A soft cosy sling is your best friend. Then your hands are free to do stuff and your baby is happy. At the end of the day we are mammals and baby mammals want to be glued to their mums at all times. Most people these days seem to reject this and train babies out of it but this is the natural evolutionary state they come into the world in.

I get it’s not possible or practical for everyone but in my experience you have an easier time if you just go with it.
We co-slept, EBF, used a sling (me and DH so not just me) and honestly DD very rarely cried or woke at night other than for quick feeds and straight back to sleep. She felt secure, safe, needs met and so there was no need. It made our lives very easy.

Will try the sling idea & she only sleeps when being held as soon as I put her down she’ll wake up and cry.

Aaaagh, thanks for the brutal honestly…guess I will have to wait it out

At the moment she won't be put down because she doesn't have to be, and she's tiny of course, so when it comes to being on your own you will have to put her down for short periods and she will get used to it, and the rest of the time you can use a sling/carrier.

It doesn't last forever and when she wakes up to the world and things beyond you become more interesting then it gets much easier.

It's also a bit of a built in mechanism to force you to rest! Embrace it.

Yep my son was exactly like that. Still clingy and not a great sleeper at 15 months.

Oh man, you have to hold her all night too?? That is rough! It will get better ❤️

Yes, it’s normal. Don’t worry about housework. You or your partner can do it on the weekends. Cooking and showering I always did after Dh got home. He walked in the door at 5:30 and I’d hand him the baby and that was him done for the rest of the evening. Then I had several hours to cook or get a few jobs done and have a shower and go to bed. Except for feeds, he’d have them until he went to bed.

If your partner is on parental leave you should be doing no cooking or housework and you should be squeezing in at least one, possibly 2 naps a day. Hand him the baby and crack on. A sling will be handy for both of you.

Mine was the same at 2 months, also needed holding all the time and wouldn't sleep at night unless held. She's 9 months now and it's not perfect but a lot better! Overnight gradually was able to co sleep and then into a next to me. She transferred to her cot in her own room really well too. Still wakes a lot though.
During the day I still can't put her down for naps, but I am slowly being able to put her down more.
You just have to embrace it! House isn't as tidy as I would like but it doesn't really matter, and like pp I hand her straight to DH when he's home from work so I can shower and cook
It is so hard to hold them all day and night, but it's not forever and I already know I will miss the cuddles when I no longer have them.

Oh goodness me yes. As they say , this too will pass. I got good at doing things one handed - scissors rather than knife to cut with, presliced bagels etc,
when my dd was about 4 months Mil bought us a swing chair which was a bit of a lifesaver, it’d allow me 15 mins or so hands free!

Yep. Sling cuddles. Or they yell while you do something. It will pass at some point. As long as you get sleep it’s all doable

My first was like this and the sling was a game changer as others have said. Don't fight it, you'll find it easier to accept - it will slowly get better but may take a few months. I find once my daughter could sit up and hold a toy it got a bit easier x

Mine was like this until about 12 weeks, I think it’s completely normal tbh. I just want to reassure you that while some people on here had to for years, we only had it for weeks so there’s a good chance it will get better much sooner.

Our DD is 7 months now and happily plays for 20-30min sat on the kitchen floor while I’m cooking as long as she can see me. She didn’t really get happy being left while awake until she could sit up by herself (5.75 months for us) but she started to nap alone at 12 weeks when we went on holiday and my husband was a lot more persistent at putting her down than me.

We also found the baby bjorn bouncer incredible before she could sit by herself, do you have one? She loved being bounced so it meant I could do chores while rocking her every few minutes. Then at some stage, maybe around 4 months, she learnt to bounce herself and then it was magic cos as long as she could see me she was happy for maybe 20mins in it, at least a couple of times per day. Now she prefers sitting up on the floor though as she can play with her toys.

But anyway, there’s a very good chance this will all get better very soon 😊 and get yourself a good bouncer, the bjorn ones are expensive but we got a second hand one off Vinted and it has been worth every penny 100 times over.