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Parenting

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Tree hugger and Beer swinger try to parent

1 reply

Lovernotafighter83 · 19/11/2025 19:21

My Husband and I have been together for 25 years. We have three sons, a nice home and half decent jobs.

We are very different.

Typical situation in the sense we used to party and drink together and post children, I changed a lot. I’m not much of a drinker now, vegan, care a lot about the planet, helping people and generally living life through kindness. He’s relatively supportive of how I’ve changed, for which I’m grateful for. He still loves a drink (not a problem at all if it’s moderation/doesn’t affect the family negatively (we go up and down with this), carnivore, building site mentality (which can bring lots of laughs and banter). We have polar opposite political views and often disagree about situations simply because we see them very differently. We like doing completely different things, I love camping, hiking, spontaneity, he likes going to the pub.

We have very different parenting styles. I’ve tried to instil kindness, compassion, listening, patience. I’m very conscious of the type of men I’m trying to raise and of the landscape we currently all find ourselves in - Andrew Tate etc. He’s more, always fight back, throw the punches, working men go to the pub every Friday kind of a person, every other word is an eff or a Jeff.

What I want to know is - thoughts on being vastly different in a long term relationship? And I’m keen to hear from Men - is this just the difference between men and woman? I want to raise strong masculine men who are respectful, know how to communicate and in tune with their emotions, but I currently have three boys who swear and throw punches. I’m a mum of three boys, I’m under no illusion that some of this is just how it’s going to be with boys, but sometimes I feel like I’ve got four boys to parent.

peri bloody menopause does not help. 🌿

OP posts:
Snorlaxo · 20/11/2025 03:55

How old are your boys?
Do they get on with their peers?

A secondary school (or older) child who swears is less worrying than a primary school one but with your h being the way he is, there was always a high probability of your sons being the same.

Also fighting- playfighting or actual fighting? I have young adult sons and they do watch things like MMA but they would only throw punches if threatened. They would play fight but nobody got injured and it was with the other boy’s consent. What you describe sounds extreme.

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