3 year old meltdowns every night after pre school

[Newmumsos]

I’m at my wits end and just so sad - not sure what I’ve done wrong and would love some advice.

My 3 year old (bday late September) goes to pre school 3 days a week when I work. He only goes 9-3. He absolutely loves it and previously didn’t like nursery/childminders. Happily goes in.

My husband drops him off at pre school and picks him up as I work 7:30 - 5 on the days I do work.

when I get through the door at 5:30, DS basically just screams at me (I’m not exaggerating) for the whole time. Refuses to let his sibling cuddle me, refuses for his dad to do anything. Refuses to eat his tea.

another big problem is he has started weeing on the floor when cross or upset (he is potty trained)

he doesn’t have any problems at pre school although he is boisterous and definitely more on the emotional side of things.

I don’t think he’s over tired as he sleeps 7-7.

I just want him to be happy.

has anyone got any advice?? I was thinking one thing would be a visual timetable/calendar so he knows what he is doing. Thank you so much.

I would absolutely bring bedtime forward. Try 6pm. If he goes to sleep easily then he needs more sleep. Also make sure your DH gets him fed as soon as he picks him up - a snack on the way home and then tea as soon as they get in. Otherwise the evening will be a shit show, even if he's eaten by the time you get back.

You’ve done nothing wrong!

Read up on restraint collapse.

Sounds like he’s been holding it all together at nursery (behaving perfectly and “having a great time”) then when he gets home he can let go as you’re his safe space. It’s exhausting (and noisy) for you, but he needs reassurance and comfort. Give he calm, strong security and give him space to have a paddy.

Not letting you comfort the baby and the weeing sound like he needs his mum and may be finding being a big boy a bit overwhelming. He will grow out of it and you’ll find what works best for him.

Second snacks & drinks for the way home.

Thanks so much. I’ve tried to say to my DH about an earlier dinner. He does fall asleep very easily so is obv over tired. Will try again tomorrow.. it’s not just these evenings - he’s also a very sensitive and emotional child so feel we’re living on eggshells most of the time, but the evenings have become particularly hard. Thank you again!