Asperger’s and school

[Tirednhopeful]

Does anyone have any advice for a kid with Aspergers/high functioning autism and helping with various behaviours at school, particularly in relation to advocating for themselves and/or concentration/focus?
Our DS aged 10 does not have a diagnosis (he does for some processing issues) - was assessed and told not autistic. But I feel very confident he is borderline what would have previously been called Asperger’s and I worry it’s affecting some interactions with teachers, not least because he doesn’t have a diagnosis, and is actually very bright and in many ways very confident. He will often talk at length about things he knows a lot about (sometimes more than the teacher!) and is also very funny, so I think he takes refuge in those things, but then isn’t always actually fully engaging with the lessons themselves. And I think when he wants to communicate something he’s not always great at advocating for himself, even though he thinks he is.

I think all this gets missed by school because his grades are good, he has lots of friends etc. But it’s causing some issues - eg feels under valued in some classes he adores and I suspect that’d got something to do with his inability to fully engage with teachers in the way they’d like.

Any advice/books etc? Thanks!

When was your son assessed for diagnosis? Was it a multidisciplinary pathway? Support should be given in school on the basis of his needs not a diagnosis.

He is no doubt masking in school to some extent. You are right to seek some support for his social skills especially before he starts secondary school.

Has he been assessed by SALT? They can help with Social Interaction Skills. There are plenty of resources online including conversation starters and how to end a conversation.

You could also explain about others not always being interested in the same topics as him. He could learn to spot when peers aren’t interested or listening.
He can always channel any special interests into school projects or producing PowerPoints etc.

Are there any groups you could attend locally where he could meet like minded children?

I’d arrange a meeting with the SENCo to discuss your concerns and ask how they can support him.

There are lots of books available. This one has been around for a long time but is good. Jessica Kingsley Website has some good books.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Asperkids-Secret-Social-Rules-Anniversary/dp/1787758370/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?adgrpid=122052185428&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9._bE-hOy5sqEe1baDEiQn8E66-6PhrOYyI7XLVwHfI1PVFAoqiuyrtIvtScP8M0bQQe0KNiqdtG2EbFchMLN5DXI1IRj_QbNQM7zmyfA6EIw.b9vs9lX8i8jLMtEPvos8T6gzRd8Jj2ms6pHCiKnN_b0&dib_tag=se&gad_source=1&hvadid=606276343876&hvdev=m&hvexpln=0&hvlocphy=9195089&hvnetw=g&hvocijid=6401651580241172054--&hvqmt=e&hvrand=6401651580241172054&hvtargid=kwd-314822655986&hydadcr=21581_2291973&keywords=the+asperkids+book+of+social+rules&mcid=17e32c820d933c0098258b25cc974431&qid=1763558757&sr=8-1

That’s so helpful, thank you. He was assessed last year. No S&L but he has never had clear need for that, and actually he has loads of friends. He seems ok in lots of social situations, it’s quite subtle (hence borderline I think). Will have a look at the book and other resources, thank you.

Hi OP,

Please get him assessed by a speech and language therapist. If he is ASD a SaLT will spot it straight away. My daughter's SalT was the one who flagged it to me and when she was assessed by the community paediatric doctor she took hold of the SaLT assessment and said " fab, this will tell me all I need to know"! In fact I can't understand how anyone can confirm or refuse a diagnosis for ASD without having a SaLT report done. This report will outline all of his difficulties with communication - understanding and using language - eg two way conversation, non verbal cues, facial expressions, etc. The report will also state what is needed in terms of therapy and adjustments in school. If he doesn't have an EHCP it will also help with obtaining one for him.

Remember as his difficulties have a severe and long-term adverse effect on his ability to carry out every day tasks, he will be held to have a disability under the Equality Act 2010. You don't need to have a diagnosis to obtain the protection of the act. The act states that a school's refusal to put in place "reasonable adjustments" for the disabled child will amount to discrimination. So the school is under a legal obligation to ensure that they accommodate his disabilities so that he isn't placed at a disadvantage as compared to students who are not disabled. So look at what he struggles with and what the school can do to alleviate/accommodate him so that he doesn't struggle eg if he is constantly late getting to his next lesson because he has sensory issues due to noise and can't cope with the busy school corridors then he should be allowed to leave a lesson five minutes earlier to get to the next lesson.

Xx

Asperger’s is an outdated term now and those who would have reached the threshold if it still existed are now autistic (some countries use levels 1 to 3) so perhaps it’s worth looking into what support he can have and helping with his issues rather than assuming he has been misdiagnosed.

@Tirednhopeful
Speech and Language Therapists cover so much more than actual speech production. If he has difficulties with social communication and interaction needs they can help.
He may have some more subtle differences that they can assess.
I agree with a PP a referral would be helpful.