HELP! New baby & 2.5 year old taking hours and screaming at bedtime.

[Keepingbusyeating]

We have a newborn baby and a 2.5 year old who has always been difficult at bedtime unless we gave her a bottle of milk to fall asleep which we stopped doing a few months before the baby arrived.

Since the baby has come home she has been SO upset at bedtime. Takes hours to get her to sleep. She only wants her Dad (tbh she did before the baby anyway), she won’t lie in her cot, won’t get pyjamas on, won’t do anything that she links to going to sleep. We have resorted to giving her a bottle of milk to fall asleep with again which has done nothing as she drinks it and then still screams.

She is VERY spirited and has big emotions so when she loses it like this, she LOSES IT and it is really distressing for us all as I hate seeing her so upset.

Who has any tips or advice… I know it’s related to the new baby, she loves him and takes an interest, wants to help, cuddle etc but I know it’s because of this big change in her little life and I just don’t know how to make bedtime easier for her (and us)!

Could you introduce something like a yoto at bedtime so she can listen to stories going to bed?

where is the newborn when you’re doing bedtime? Does she think that you’re going off with the newborn after you’ve done bedtime?

we had a newborn and a 2yr2m gap, and I used to put the newborn in my room whilst I did toddlers bedtime. Also not long before newborn was born I started saying that we all went to bed at bedtime so our toddler doesn’t think she goes to bed and we stay up.

sorry not very good suggestions but you have my sympathy

Ugh this sounds so hard. Sorry that you’re going through it. I would say she is going through a huge adjustment phase and it’ll end. In the meantime just do what you can for survival and maintaining a routine she can rely on? It sounds traumatising for you guys. She won’t remember it. You will!

Can dad sleep with her? Or you cosleep with both?

My best friend had a just turned 2 year old and a 4 week old when she started cosleeping with both. They're now 3 and 5 and she still sleeps with them. They all sleep brilliantly. She puts them to sleep, sneaks out, and has an evening and then goes back into bed.

I slept with my mum until I was 8 (I'm not British so it's normal for us).