My Neighbour Pays Her Kids for Every Little Thing

[CareerJuggler]

My neighbour gives her children money for almost everything they do — tidying their room, helping with dishes, even finishing homework. The kids are lovely, but now they expect cash for the smallest favour.
It got me thinking about how different families teach responsibility. I can see how rewards motivate kids, but if they start to expect payment for everything, doesn’t that take away from just helping out because it’s the right thing to do?
I wonder how other parents handle this balance between teaching the value of money and raising helpful kids.

I think the phrase is "you do you". We all parent differently. Most people turn out ok.

This

Also, a little more context? 50p for tidying your toys - teaches work ethic, reward for being good, engages your kid. Does this make up the pool of pocket money? Etc etc

£20? Can be very much disproportionate

I’m the total opposite, as a matter of principle, I will not pay my kids to do chores, I just expect them to do them (and they do!).

I have seen children turn into little mercenaries with this approach. It progresses into minor entrepreneurial schemes that get bigger over time, each progressively shafting others on increasingly large scales without qualms. Little Apprentice candidates in the making.

Capitalism doing what it does.

I'd rather live in a society with moral codes, and less risk of being scammed or shafted, but too many people are only about what's in it for them. (They were probably paid to do chores as a child...)

Same. We all live in the house together, therefore we all chip in with what needs doing as and when. They don't have set lists or specific things they have to do, but they do just do things because they see they need doing.

If I'm ill they offer to cook, bring me drinks etc. I can imagine it might feel dehumanising to be treated like a paid servant by your parents.

That's great when it works until it stops working. I was a VERY lazy teenager and no way would I cook or do any chores "just because". No amount of lectures or calm conversations or shouting or punishments worked....embarrassing looking back and thankfully moving out at 18 snapped me out of it. But I'm guessing this parent is trying her best with what kids she's got.

Commercial consumption capitalist society is based on effort and reward. To widely varying degrees- there are learning this early….

We gave our DC pocket money in order to teach them about spending and saving. We deliberately didn’t tie it to chores.

Everyone lives in the house so everyone should help pitch in when asked.

I believe there is research that indicates that paying for grades is actually counter productive in terms of long term motivation for academic success.

Well ours are younger, 3 and 6, but I pay them in "family points" which are totally useless and we don't even count them up. Sometimes I give a sticker after the fact.
It is important to communicate what you'd like your kids to do, so I can understand how a list of jobs and fees would do that, but I think everyone tends to motivate differently and maybe that works for them.

We do pocket money that they earn at the end of the week if they have done there chores if they are saving up for something they can do extra jobs that aren't expected of them to earn more

That makes sense. I get the idea of keeping pocket money separate so chores don’t feel like a transaction. I guess my neighbour’s approach just feels a bit extreme because it’s for everything, even the really small stuff.
I agree about grades too — once kids expect payment, it’s hard for them to care about the work itself.

That actually sounds pretty reasonable. There’s a clear difference between the everyday chores everyone is expected to do and the extra bits they can choose to earn from.

True enough. Everyone figures out what works in their own house. I just found it interesting how different the approaches can be, especially when you see it up close.

Why are there so many of these threads clearly written by AI, capitalising every word of the title etc?

@mnhq