Limiting screens to one movie a week

[Partym]

Hi everyone,

My son is 3 1/2 and is autistic - he doesn’t play with toys per say, he will listen to music and audiobooks (toniebox/yoto player), he will spend hours stacking random objects and lining them up, but has no interest in toy cars/his doll house/figurines/stuffed toys/legos/imaginative play.
He also has absolutely no interest in books or board games.
We limit his screen time to 30 minutes a day but even then, he will scream for TV. We recently gave him an IPad that he only uses as an AAC device (the real AAC devices are too pricey) but he will spend hours pressing the buttons just to hear the sound and not use it to communicate, and when that’s taken away from him he will cry and throw things on and off for hours on end - he will become very irritable for the rest of the day.

I’m considering removing all screens and switching to printed AAC communication sheets instead of his IPad as well, and only doing one movie a week as a family on Friday night before bed. I have spoken to a friend about it and they think that it’s awful and too extreme and that he will grow up feeling left out for not sharing the same interests and reference as other children his age because he wouldn’t be watching the same cartoons.

My idea was to swap Disney cartoon for instance for Disney books, he also already has Disney Tonies/Yotos. But realistically, if he doesn’t like books as is, will he sit through them?
How do I make him like books? He just gets up and leaves.

is it too extreme? Will removing the 30 minutes of TV a day help him play with his toys more?

thank you

he will become very irritable for the rest of the day.

It will help with that and it will help his development. He doesn't need to chat about cartoons with other three year old- if he loves lining things up and listening to books then let him, that's so much better than watching a mindless cartoon.

FWIW my dc are NT and freak out when I turn their shows off. My now 4y was just 2 when I was pregnant with my 2nd dc and I would give my phone with YT vids when I needed a break. It was hell to take it back.
Do what works best for your dc.
I also watch educational channels on YT with my kids. Maybe you could find some of those?
A current fave is the songs for anatomy and planets on KLT. Mr. Rogers Neighbourhood is loved by both of mine and very calming. My 4y loves 1970's and '80 Sesame Street.

I think it’s the iPad that’s the issue. They can be really addictive. I’ve never had the same problems with actual tv on in the background.

Personally, I’d say little bits of educational tv throughout the week (no iPad at 3, way too young) rather than a movie. Neither of mine would have enjoyed a movie at 3. It’s a long time to sit and pay attention, and I’d say that’s especially the case if he is SEN.

He does play, just in his own way. You can’t force a kid to like books if they don’t. The iPad is the issue, there’s lots of good educational shows he could watch on a traditional TV, mindless scrolling on an iPad is not comparable to 30minutes of number blocks. That’s the issue.

If he isn't interested in his toys, I don't see how depriving him of screens will make his toys more attractive.

I'd allow him an amount of screentime per day, eg, CBeebies because he will share that childhood culture with other children when he starts school or nursery. Allowing no screens at all will isolate him. Why should he be the only child who doesn't recognise or enjoy Mr Tumble?

He doesn’t use his IPad for games or watching YouTube, it’s locked on his AAC app and he can’t exit it. His speech therapist recommended it but he will just press the buttons again and again to hear what sound a word makes and that alone seems to be very overwhelming for him.

I will be swapping it from a paper AAC but I wasn’t sure if it would be effective by itself.
I’ll give it a shot

Op you mention he has autism so he IS playing but in a way that meets his needs. The stacking and lining up is very typical of kids with autism. Taking away the iPad won't cure his autism.

Does he have any development delay alongside his autism? Sensory needs?

Of course it's fine to not watch TV, although I'll warn you once he starts school they do at end of the day but personally I'd work on a strategy to integrate healthy screen use into life.

Have you tried visual timers? Visual time lines so he knows what's after iPad or TV time? Time warnings so he knows when he has 5 minutes left etc.

What is he doing on the iPad / TV? Coco melon VS Numberblocks is very different. YouTube scrolling Vs an educational game is very different.

That is true!
What amount of screentime would you recommend say per day?

Thank you for your reply.

You are right, I guess I’m just wishful thinking. TBH I’m very ignorant about autism, he was diagnosed recently so I’m learning but I have a lot to learn to be able to offer him an environment suitable for him.

On TV he watches the Teletubbies, the song Apple On My Head, as well as videos of London underground trains coming and leaving and the inside of elevators going up and down. That’s it. He will reject anything else.

On his iPad he only has access to his communication app - basically an app with pictures of everyday things that he presses when he wants something.

Have you talked to his speech therapist about how he's interacting with the aac app? It's possible this is a normal part of a child experimenting with a new way of communicating?

Thank you. I’ll take all that on board

She said it is like babbling and that it’s to be expected. But she said that at his age any visual aids can work fine, so alternatives are okay.

But he will just press all the buttons again and again and completely ignore us when we talk, he could be doing it all day everyday. Even taking it away to eat or put his clothes or get him in his bath will distress him.

A teacher that works with SEN kids told me to screenshot the different pages of the app and print them and make a binder that he can carry around his shoulder with straps. I would like to try that maybe

It's normal for children to use the AAC like a noise toy before they get the hang of it, apparently it's what they call the AAC version of "babbling" - so I would consider letting him have it (maybe turn the volume down?)

Here's an article about it: https://aaclanguagelab.com/articles/hes_just_playing?mode=view

Sorry, I don't know the answers to any of the other stuff. You'll find your way! Don't be afraid to try things out and see what happens.

Thanks so much for the article.
I stupidly didn’t think about muting it!
Thank you

My son is 4 and autistic. I don’t have a fixed time limit on screens as such (maybe I should) but I try to be mindful. He likes watching the same Bluey episodes over and over when he comes home from nursery. A neurotypical person looking at this might think it’s pretty mindless watching the same thing everyday. But it helps regulate him. He knows what’s going to happen next, it’s familiar , it’s the same every time - it’s a comfort. And then when I’ve finished unstacking the dishwasher and feeding the baby or whatever I turn it off and I try to encourage doing sticker books or something.

Well I wouldn't mute it, that would defeat the point - but if the sound is really bothering you then it could be set at a lower volume, so he can still hear it and you can respond to it e.g. as the article suggests, but it isn't quite so grating as a computer voice repeating the same thing loudly every few seconds.

I would allow him more screen time. Autistic children often find watching the same thing over and over very comforting and reassuring and helps them regulate their emotions.
As long as he is engaging with other things books, toys, people as well id say it's reasonable to allow him some downtime doing something that he finds particularly relaxing and comforting.

I have an autistic child older than yours. His main need is speech language and communication. If I were to do things over I would not have introduced a device or TV to him - I would stick to dvds at most. There are pluses - he learns much more math, phonics, general knowledge and science from them. And it took a few years but he’s ok at regulating his use - he comes off on his own and does other stuff.

But it’s definitely a point of contention. He doesn’t want to go out because he wants to stay at home on screens. He doesn’t enjoy books. The content he has access to is very restricted but some of it is those short format videos and I’m starting to get really concerned about what it’s doing to his brain.