SEN or mainstream with support

[Partym]

Hi everyone,

My son is 3 and has autism and is non verbal (literally only has “mama” (for multiple people, not just me), nanana (banana) and hiya) with apraxia of speech.

He isn’t potty trained. He is very sensitive to noise (covers his ears and hums when in crowds, doesn’t like objects falling on the floor, will scream if anyone sings). He has limited understanding of danger.

He is very hyper.

He has limited understanding of things - he will understand “put on your shoes” “eating time””nappy off) but don’t understand what “cereal” means or “what would you like for breakfast?” “What’s your name?” “How old are you” “are you a boy or a girl?” “Show me your favourite colour” etc…

He knows his alphabet, all his letter sounds, he can count until 20 and recognise groups of objects up to around 6 or 7 I would say. He also knows his colours and shapes, but he can’t write or draw anything more than a straight line, although he does try circles and can do dot to dot drawing with help.

He will listen when I ask him to put something in the sink, but he won’t if I try to explain to him how to play a game for instance.

I’m thinking of reception next year but I don’t think he would thrive in a mainstream setting. But then again I have so little experience with children his age that I don’t know.

He is very social, although his interaction with kids are quite “immature” according to his clinician, he does try and he is fond of other children and people in general. He is very well behaved and has no care about separation.

thank you

From what you have said there is highly recommend a special needs unit if you can. My youngest has been in one since year 1 and she has come on so far. They are so caring and supportive.
my eldest went through main stream and ended up struggling so much she missed all of year 10 and after a long fight has managed to get into a unit for year 11.

Hi I think it very much depends on the type of provision there is locally to be honest and what his EHCP states. Some mainstreams are really well set up so with the right support children with significant needs can still thrive, others not so much.

I would take on board the guidance offered by the professionals involved, alongside visiting schools and see what you feel will work for him, bearing in mind this may change over time.

i know it feels like a huge decision but try to remember if something doesn’t work things can be changed.

so you make the decision you think is best; based on current knowledge & situation and accept this is likely to evolve over time

Is he summer born? Could he be delayed a year to help develop his language, understanding and social skills?? As these are the prime areas.

‘Academically’ he seems more than on track from what you have said but these are more rote learning facts. Could he give you 3 things from a group for example to show understanding of number?

As a school we have found it harder for children once they are in mainstream to get into SEN schools and are having to wait years when mainstream have provided as much as they can for the child, as there are no SEN places available in the special schools.

Also is he currently at a nursery, what are their thoughts?

Just based on him not liking noise or singing i would personally choose a specialist school. A class with 29 other DC is going to be a very overwhelming and noisy place. I just can’t see how he would be happy in a setting like they.

My son was similar in the ways you describe except sensitivity to noise. We went mainstream. He had 12 hours 1:1 initially plus interventions like calm club, sensory circuit. Applied for EHCP in reception. In year 2 he began to struggle do school so school applied for increased funding to 24 hours. He’s year 6 now and has had full time support for 3 years.
He’s year 6 now does well academically as extremely clever but still struggles socially/emotionally/ processing / handwriting.
We have had difficulties with him melting down , being bullied. School have had good years and bad ones (very teacher dependent)
we are going to try mainstream high school next year. I’m glad we did mainstream as he has learnt so much and he started talking/ toilet trained at 7. But it’s possible Sen school would have been more manageable for him.

Find out what is avaliable in your area but can be more difficult that it sounds. There maybe a MS school with an ARP or with an amazinf reputation for SEND but generally speaking I think SEN school would be able to better meet his needs.

Have you started the ECHNA process?

I think you may find a change from mainstream to special later would be almost impossible due to lack of places, but the other way round is possible.

Whatever you.decide, you're likely to have a battle on your hands, so document your son's needs as much as you can, and request an ECHNA if you haven't already.

IPSEA is a helpful website.

As others hsve said it will depend very much on what's available locally and what the ehcp says.

But I personally would be thinking sen school and then potentially moving to msinstream at a later date. Its can be hard if mainstream doesnt work to get an sen place in a timely manner.

Because sen schools vary so much its hard to tell, but round here there are still some that do academic learning right up to gcses, wheras there are others that dont. Which is why its hard to be definitive.

Is there a specialist unit in mainstream. That worked exceptionally well for our DS.

Totally agree with this.

If you do consider MS, check how much singing actually goes on. Our local Primary had singing rehearsals daily for Harvest Festival, Christmas and Easter.

Also, for a time DC1 had 34 DC in his class due to some looked after DC joining his class. Obviously, not a problem, but 4 more DC does add to the noise and stretch an already overworked Teacher.

If you can get a SEN place then pursue it. A busy, noisy classroom would be hell on earth for him, and if he screams at a lot of normal classroom noises then that will affect the rest of the class and the teacher too. Good luck. Sounds like you're doing your best.

Specialist schools advertise their criteria so you can check this out. Often tends to be at least 3yrs behind educationally, but varies from school to school depending on their target audience.

You will need professional opinions as to what he needs, it’s not really up to you. Specialist schools are v difficult to get into.

have you started the EHCP process? Will need that. Also look for autism specialist schools and independent schools esp if you have EHCP.

mainstream are expected to provide an education for all kids, a few years here may help identify what educational environment is best for him.