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2 year old separation anxiety

2 replies

SharpMintUser · 09/11/2025 13:09

Feeling a bit at the end of my tether and wondering if anyone else’s toddler has been like this. My little boy has just turned 2 and has been going to nursery 2.5 days a week for a few months now. The staff say he’s absolutely fine once I’ve gone. They report that he’s happy, playing, eating, no tears at all.

But at home it’s a completely different story. He’s suddenly so clingy with me. He won’t let DH do much for him at all, and gets really upset if I so much as leave the room. If I nip to the loo, he comes running in sobbing because I’ve left him. He wants me sitting right next to him all the time and won’t let DH join in when we’re playing.

It’s honestly exhausting and quite sad for DH too, because he’s trying so hard but keeps getting rejected. I know separation anxiety is normal around this age, but it feels really intense right now and I’m not sure how best to handle it.

Has anyone else’s DC been through this? Did it pass on its own or is there anything that helped make things easier (for all of us!)?
— any reassurance or tips very welcome ❤️

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Sillysoggyspaniel · 09/11/2025 17:47

He's clingy because he's trying so hard to cope at nursery and doesn't have the capacity to also cope with you "disappearing" at home. He's programmed to know he can't survive without support - and you are the one who offers that the most.
When it comes to your DH, we said things like Daddy can sit on the sofa too, or yay, Daddy is coming to play. If he objects you say that he can choose to stay sitting or move away, or he can continue to play or not play, but he can't stop someone else joining in.
When you go to the toilet/make a cup of tea/do bed time give him a count down and never sneak or wander out. For instance, in two mins mummy is going to get a drink. Then, it's time for mummy to get a drink. I'm going to count to five and then get a drink. I'll come straight back after. Find a toy we can play with for when I come back.
This gives him a heads up and also a job to do while you're gone. At bedtime say you'll come check him in ten mins - and make sure you do. He'll probably be asleep, but it's so affirming for him to know you kept your promise if he's awake.
And then give your DH a hug and have a vent and a glass of wine. It's super hard on both of you.

Original poster
SharpMintUser · 09/11/2025 19:24

Sillysoggyspaniel · 09/11/2025 17:47

He's clingy because he's trying so hard to cope at nursery and doesn't have the capacity to also cope with you "disappearing" at home. He's programmed to know he can't survive without support - and you are the one who offers that the most.
When it comes to your DH, we said things like Daddy can sit on the sofa too, or yay, Daddy is coming to play. If he objects you say that he can choose to stay sitting or move away, or he can continue to play or not play, but he can't stop someone else joining in.
When you go to the toilet/make a cup of tea/do bed time give him a count down and never sneak or wander out. For instance, in two mins mummy is going to get a drink. Then, it's time for mummy to get a drink. I'm going to count to five and then get a drink. I'll come straight back after. Find a toy we can play with for when I come back.
This gives him a heads up and also a job to do while you're gone. At bedtime say you'll come check him in ten mins - and make sure you do. He'll probably be asleep, but it's so affirming for him to know you kept your promise if he's awake.
And then give your DH a hug and have a vent and a glass of wine. It's super hard on both of you.

Thank you!

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