9 month old just screams at me

[BeRubySquid]

So I have a 9 month old and I feel like nothing I do is right for her. She just constantly screams in my face 😞 she has so many toys that I rotate regularly, I interact with her constantly throughout the day, we do loads of singing etc and we get out the house at every opportunity, but I’m just met with a high pitched scream. I’m starting to get really overwhelmed by it in all honesty. The only time she’s truly happy is when she’s eating or in the bath! Did anyone else experience this and did it pass? I know she’s trying to communicate and is getting frustrated, but it feels like it’s just constant, and nothing makes her happy. Any advice is more than welcome!

Sorry OP I dont have much advice, I have a grumpy 15 month old who was also a very tight strung 9 month old.

I try and be as upbeat, loving and positive as I can but it does get tiring to just get screamed at in return. It's the only thing in my life where I feel like the return doesn't match the effort I put in!

DD did get better once she had better mobility and communication skills so am hoping this period will eventually pass and she'll be a much happier child overall. I dont know if there's much else we can realistically do, I feel some of it is baked into personality

Sorry to say but babies scream A LOT!! Is the screaming new or was she always like this? She could be teething.

I’d say it’s been since she was about 7 months. It’s just a really loud scream, not like a cry. She has been teething but that was a whole other experience! Even the dogs had enough at this point 😂

I do think it’s down to frustration, she’s not crawling yet, but equally I’m constantly there trying to entertain her, but it’s just like nothing is good enough! Praying it passes and praying for you too!

I honestly feel you OP. I thought I hated this stage with my eldest, but then my youngest came along and made me realise that actually it wasn't all that bad.

The PP who says it's baked into personality is (imo) correct. My youngest is stubborn as all hell and wants to do everything himself. He was so frustrated at his body's inability to do what he wanted. He was frustrated I wasn't letting him do it. He was equally frustrated when I did it for him too. He was frustrated he couldn't communicate, and he was frustrated he couldn't understand why I said no. All that frustration boiled down into screaming.

People laugh when I say he was tantruming from 9 months old. People who know him says that tracks. He simply hated being a baby. And it sounds awful, even bearing in mind I had PPD, but I didn't particularly like him either. What didn't help was that he was quite late to crawl (10 months) and then to walk (17.5 months). I have a feeling he's quite intelligent as well, and all he ever wanted was to sate his curiosity. He just had no say in where we went, how long we spent there, and what we did.

I can happily say it does get better, but I won't mince words, it was a rough ride getting there. Walking was the main turning point, then the language explosion he had shortly after his second birthday another.

He's 3yo8mo now. Still fiercely independent and headstrong, but now he can communicate and be reasoned with. Still throws a hell of a wobbler when he doesn't get his own way. He's cheeky and in a bit of a physical stage ATM, but he's increasingly kind and empathetic too. He gives amazing hugs. He reminds me a scary amount of my youngest brother (I'm 7 years older), who was awful as a toddler, but has grown up to be a wonderful human being.

I can't pinpoint when it got better (the first half second year was constant tantrums), but definitely by his third birthday. I can't wait to see the man he will one day become.

I hope things get better sooner than later, but they will get better.

Sing to her.

Thanks for this. Did you read my post?

Thanks for this! Sounds like you had a rough ride too. I’ve just never met a baby with such a dislike of everything 😂 she loves going to the park and playing on the swings, but I can’t do that constantly! She went in the bath for a full hour last night because it was the only thing that would keep her entertained. If I wasn’t present for her and not constantly trying to entertain her then I’d understand her frustration, but I’m there 24/7. I guess it’s just really deflating when you’re constantly trying to think of ways to make your baby happy and they just aren’t interested! If I sing to her and she’s in a mood she just screams over me. Hopefully when she starts crawling I’ll notice a change 🤞

Can I suggest that instead of entertaining her, you engage her or occupy her. That means your focus is not on her, but your joint focus is on something else. (Not saying it will work but may be worth a try.)

E.g. Tell her, 'Mummy is sorting laundry. We are going to make it nice and clean. Dirty socks are pooey' (hold up a sock and sniff and pull a silly face) 'Can BabyRubySquid find a sock? Can you give me a sock to put in the washing machine/laundry basket?' Then each time she finds a sock say thank you and put it in the basket or machine. If she hands you something else say, 'Thank you. That's a teeshirt' etc. That way you are also helping them build the language skills that they so want to have.

Might take forever to sort laundry but the baby is at least occupied alongside you.

I also found that filling the old baby bath with a couple of inches of warm water and a few plastic cups or bowls, then putting it on an old towel on the kitchen floor and letting them splash kept them occupied for ages while I made dinner or had a coffee or made a phone call. Doesn't matter if they make a mess as it is only water and can be mopped up at the end of the play session.

Probably frustration. Some babies do like screaming, it gets a reaction. You could try reducing the reaction to the screams and making a bid deal of rewarding other communication e.g attempts to talk or pointing etc. Reward with big smiles, positive affirmations, repeating what you think she might be trying to say "Oh good talking, you want that?" (Whilst pointing).