4yo hardly eats anything

[Hernamesnoelle]

My DD will hardly eat any proper foods. She will eat processed crap like fish fingers, chips, crisps etc but I try to limit that kind of thing to weekends/if we are at other people's.

She won't eat any meat - nor protein in any other form like tofu or chickpeas or anything like that. Absolutely nothing in a sauce - will eat pasta but only if plain or with cheese. Vegetables she will eat broccoli and carrots and that's it. No rice or noodles. No soup. She basically won't try anything new anymore no matter what, so we seem to be having the same 'safety foods on rotation (Basically bread/wraps, plain pasta, broccoli & carrots, berries/apple).

I've always been in the camp of not forcing anything on her, not making meal times a battle etc but I actually think it's become ridiculous that there is basically no meal that we can all eat together as a family.

I feel like she's not eating enough - for breakfast she will have a couple of mouthfuls of toast or weetabix which I have to really coax. School have said she eats minimally there- a few bites of a cheese sandwich or plain jacket potato, absolutely won't entertain whatever the main meal is.

Dinner at home is basically a write off as she will just pick at the carb and leave everything else.

Has anyone else had this and they've grown out of it? Or should I be seeking some help around now?

Sounds like she’s eating mainly “ safe beige carbohydrates” This can be an indicator of food neophobia or ARFID. Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. This would need to be diagnosed by a professional but you could follow the strategies or look on the Facebook page for advice and support.
Has she always resisted certain foods and textures or did it happen after a tummy bug or choking incident?
Any books or advice from Dr Gillian Harris and Dr Liz Shea are recommended.
For now best advice is to give her what she will eat and not put any pressure on. You can give vitamin drops or supplements. She will pick up on your anxiety. I know it’s tough but she eats a much wider range of foods than many children with restricted eating.
Good luck. You could speak to your GP for advice or referral.

If she is a healthy weight , not losing, it can just be a fad. It lasts about 12 years . Occasions when they will eat and then nothing. Drives you demented. I mean really grated cheese over pasta? But if that’s it

keep plugging away with healthy food. Yes it gets incredibly boring. We did occasionally add stuff for our sanity / you know some sweetcorn in the same pan as the carrots. Friday night we would have fish when she had nuggets.

meat - does mince work as a Home made burger ? Think that was DDs first acceptance of meat . Or get ground pork from a butcher to make proper sausages up yourselves

for what it’s worth - she is now adult and a good eater with healthy , varied diet. and yes we still exchange glances like last weekend when we realise she now eats turnip and carrot mash

Has she always been this way or is it a recent change? I ask because my four year old DD is the same! Ours has been a gradual development though over the last few months - I wondered if it was an age thing? In our case, our little girl used to eat anything and everything! She's now become so unbelievably fussy and difficult around food. I really feel it's a need for control - she's had lots of big changes in the last year (starting school, welcoming new sibling last Nov). Praying it ends soon!!! At our wits end so sending solidarity!

Sounds like my daughter (maybe a bit better if that's any consolation!)

Breakfast is always some kind of bread with Nutella or croissants/pain au chocolat

Lunch is always flatbread, houmous and strawberries

Dinner is always plain pasta with cheese, and cucumber

Every single day. Wont even eat pizza or nuggets. At the point where I feel like we should be getting help too. Was a gradual decline from eating everything at 18 months, she's 4.5 now.

This was me as a kid, I ate barely any fruit or veg, I did like meat and puddings but it was quite restrictive.

My advice is to take the judgement away ‘highly processed crap’ food is food especially if she’s not eating loads all calories are good calories.

Keep the pressure off, offer a variety of food but do not comment if it’s not tried.

Also make food fun, encourage your dd to play with her food and get her involved in cooking and baking.

My almost 5 year old son is the same! He currently has Yorkshire pudding, gravy and broccoli for dinner every single night. Breakfast is maddening, he moans and moans that he's hungry but doesn't want any of the 100 things that we offer.

Thank you for the replies, am very grateful for bits of advice!

I have read a bit about ARFID and it could fit.

Similar to others though, there was no incident as such that made her like this, it was a very gradual change from eating anything and everything as a baby to almost nothing now! Even foods she used to eat such as sausages and salmon fillets she now won't touch (although loves smoked salmon for some reason).

I measured her height and weight this weekend and she is 50th for weight which was a relief but then I checked her height and she is 99th! So now I'm panicking a bit because I've read the centiles should be similar for both. But to me she doesn't look overall skinny, certainly no different to her friends. I do think she looks quite pale though. I've picked up some vitamins this week so hopefully that will address anything she's lacking...